Have you planned to go on a first date and you want to know what’s the best things to talk about with a girl, or are you unsure of how to conduct yourself in a conversation with a woman that you find attractive?
It’s important to get into a conversation with rapport. This lays the foundation for the both of you to connect, and feel comfortable around each other. The four main elements of rapport are; empathy, authenticity, similarity and shared experience.
We all love a bit of mystery, and this is a great tool to help keep her engaged and interested in what you have to say.
There are key elements that should be taken into account when you’re having an interaction with a girl, specifically if she’s a potential love interest. You want to build on the attraction she already has towards you.
In this article, we’ll point out what the best things to talk about with a girl are, as well as what you should and shouldn’t do when you’re chatting with her so you can keep the conversation flowing, and stand out from the crowd.
What’s the best things to talk about with a girl?
If you’re on a first date with a girl, or only just getting to know her, you want to keep the conversation fun and lighthearted. This will prevent the conversation from feeling like an interview and keep the girl engaged. Keep in mind, if she’s an attractive girl, chances are she’s been going on a few dates, so you want to stand out from the rest, and get her to remember you.
Let’s take a further look into what’s the best things to talk about with a girl based on how you should conduct yourself with the main objective to keep the conversation easygoing;
1. Don’t talk about what you have
A girl doesn’t want to sit and listen to you going through what you have. This will come across as bragging and that you’re trying too hard to impress her.
Don’t talk about your work. Yes, you may have an impressive job, or be a manager of a great firm but a survey that was conducted with women in speed dating confirmed that they instantly switched off as soon as their date started chatting about his work.
Let her naturally find out about your talents and values. By not revealing your achievements straight away, you will allow them to be displayed naturally. This will impress her even more.
2. Be unpredictable
What better way to keep her engrossed than by being unpredictable. This will stop boredom from setting in and keep the conversation going.
When you are your true, authentic self you won’t be worrying about coming across as silly and goofy. Making a woman laugh is one of the best ways to keep a girl’s attention.
3. Stay mysterious
We’re all aware of how a mysterious person gets us hooked, but ever wondered why being mysterious is so attractive?
As humans, we are instinctively curious to know more about someone when they do not hand over information to us willingly.
Allow her to fill in the gaps with her imagination. This can draw a girl in to see if her speculations are correct about you, thus, she’ll want to spend more time with you.
4. Find emotions
We all enjoy talking about things we’re passionate about right? One of the best things to talk about with a girl are topics she’s excited about.
Women love to talk about themselves. Studies have found that talking about ourselves has the same effect on our brain when we eat tasty food and be intimate.
If she’s answered a question, ask her the ‘why’s and ‘how’s’ to allow her to speak about how she feels about something, or why she’s done a certain something.
If you instigate a positive feeling in her because she’s started speaking about something that excites her, a girl will attach the emotion she feels to yourself.
5. Don’t be afraid of making statements
When we’re on a first date, or in the beginning stages of getting to know a girl, we worry about awkward silences or having nothing to talk about. With this, we tend to over ask questions to ensure there is constant rapport even if it is forced.
Don’t be afraid of making a statement that does not necessarily warrant an answer! If you can turn a question into a statement, this can open up a whole topic on its own.
Instead of saying ‘where are you from’ you could say; ‘You don’t seem like you’re from this area’. This will also spark interest in her of why you would think what you’ve just stated.
Think about how you speak to your friends. You aren’t always asking them questions, are you? It’s important to speak to her like she’s a friend. Once you have this mindset, talking to a girl won’t seem so daunting.
This will also help with the flow, and allow the conversation to be natural. You’ll probably find that you will get to know her a lot better.
As we’ve already said, you want to stand out from the rest, and leave a positive impression for when the conversation has ended, so steer away from the generic questions, and just let the chat flow.
If you feel like you need help to improve your smooth skills around women, check out this article.
How do I keep a conversation going with a girl?
If you’re worried about keeping a conversation going with a girl, all you need to remember is that if you’re confident, the rest will follow. You won’t be thinking about what if the conversation ends, and you will be able to stay relaxed without feeling the need to pre-empt what you’re going to say.
Let’s look at the key points to help keep a conversation going with a girl, while not actively being concerned;
1. Misinterpret what she says
If you deliberately misinterpret what she says, you’ll be creating a light-hearted interaction, as well as initiating humour between yourselves.
What better way to connect with someone than by making them laugh. For instance, we’re aware of sexual innuendo. These are great for misinterpretations.
Did you know blushing is connected to adrenaline being released in the body? This stems from the ‘Flight or Fight’ mode and can occur when someone gets excited, or nervous.
So, misinterpreting what she says can be a good way to build up the attraction during your conversation.
2. Refrain from filtering out what you say
We get it, you don’t want to say the wrong thing that may cause the girl to possibly lose attraction towards you, but if you’re constantly rehearsing what you’re going to say, how is the conversation going to flow?
This can make you come across as stiff, and cause her to become disinterested.
If you say something goofy, if anything, it will make her laugh, and feel more comfortable around you, which in return, will help keep the conversation going. The less perfect you are, the more relatable you’ll be.
3. Make it about her
This does not mean you need to compliment her.
Making a statement about her, for example, something you’ve noticed about her will be the catalyst to get her to start talking about herself, and let’s face it, one of the women’s favourite topics is themselves.
4. Lower your conversation standards
You’re going to overthink and second guess what you need to say if you’re attempting to keep up a high-end conversation with the girl you’re speaking to.
This will reiterate what we’ve said before. You want to create a good vibe with the girl, and this involves good banter between the two of you.
(Fun Fact; If a guy doesn’t know what to wear on a first date, studies show you should go for wearing something Blue as women seem to be attracted to the colour).
Saying something silly is not a bad thing, and if you speak with certainty, you’ll pretty much be able to say anything.
It’s important to remove any expectations that you may have for the conversation. Yes, we all want to be liked, but if the end result of your conversation is nothing more than just a friendly chat, there’s nothing wrong with this.
This will get rid of feeling any pressure, and allow you to relax.
As you can see, there are ample ways in which you can make sure the conversation keeps going with the girl you’re chatting to.
What not to do when talking to a girl
When you’re talking to a girl, you need to refrain from being too agreeable. We know having things in common is an important factor in building attraction but if you’re just going along with everything she says, you’re going to end up having an opposite effect.
Don’t be afraid to disagree! Express your own opinion. This will show her you’re assertive and you’re not afraid to take control. Girls don’t like to lead conversations, and will generally follow you in the direction you take it.
When you’re talking to a girl, you need to find the balance between showing no interest at all, and declaring how interested you are.
Let’s look at what other points you should refrain from when talking to a girl;
1. Holding on to one topic
Have you ever been on a date and been stuck on the same topic for a long period just because the guy or girl doesn’t know how to move on to another conversation?
This happens a lot of the time when someone doesn’t know what to speak about, so they hold on to the conversation you currently spoke about.
The girl you’re talking to will start to realise you do not share any interests, and could end up feeling very bored.
2. Trying to be funny and not fun
If you’re putting pressure on yourself to be funny because you want to impress the girl, you’re just going to end up overthinking the situation. This is when you can freeze, or even end up stuttering your words when you wouldn’t normally do so.
Remember, if you’re being funny, she’s laughing at your jokes. If you’re fun, she’s laughing because she likes you.
Fun is easier to transition into chemistry. This includes easily flirting and letting her know you like her.
3. Ignoring rapport in the beginning
Building rapport is extremely important in the beginning of a conversation. You want to connect with the girl, and let her feel like she can be herself around you.
Ignoring this in the fundamental stage of meeting or getting to know someone can make it more difficult to proceed in the conversation.
Speak to her like an old friend, and stay relaxed. Girls can easily pick up on vibes, and if she feel like you’re tense, it’s going to make her feel tense too.
4. Not making eye contact
Eye contact is so important when you’re speaking to a girl. It shows them you’re interested in what they have to say, and that you’re not bored of the conversation. Eye contact can also create chemistry and comfort.
Ever heard of the phrase; ‘eyes are the window to the soul’? Keeping eye contact is good for if you want to help build up the attraction she has for you.
4. Drawing attention to yourself
If you see a girl that you like on a night out, most of the time she’ll be with a group of friends. Her friends will probably give you resistance if they notice you’re trying to chat up their mate.
Keep your energy low-key. This will stop you from being highly noticeable, and give you the opportunity to talk to a girl without being interrupted.
How do you start a flirty conversation with a girl?
Teasing is one of the best ways to start a flirty conversation with a girl. Making fun of a girl in a playful way keeps the conversation easy and light. We have already confirmed this supersedes being funny. You’ll be able to transform your interaction into a flirty banter without her feeling pressured or on the spot.
So, how can you start flirting with a girl without being too obvious? We have three main conversation topics that will help you transition into being able to flirt, while staying fun and playful.
Please note, these topics should be kept light hearted, and not to be taken seriously. They should only initiate a back and forth banter.
1. Find a common enemy
What we mean by ‘common enemy’ is a certain thing, person or place you both dislike. From a certain music genre, to your third grade nemesis, you want to instigate a playful topic that you will be able to tease her on.
Did she pull a girls hair in third grade because she took her pen? Do you both dislike country music?
2. Request her top list
You want to be able to give her your opinion on things. This will grant you the opportunity to tease her on something she’s said.
A great way for this is asking her what her list is on a certain topic. Maybe it’s her top 5 celeb crushes, or the places she wants to go to before she hits thirty.
3. Create a mission
Not an actual mission, but an imaginary mission you can both work together in a joyful, silly manner. For example, you can create a mission on how you’re both going to stop guys in the gym from grunting so loud.
Overall, you want to be able to keep the conversation fun naturally, so you’ll be able to tease her and get your flirt on without it being forced.
What should I talk about over text with a girl?
If you’re speaking to a girl over text because you’re planning to meet up or go on a date, we would recommend you to first keep the conversation over message minimal. This will allow you to have ample different things to talk about in person, and prevent any loss of interest to occur. Remember, you can misinterpret emotions over text.
How can I be attractive in a conversation?
Talk with confidence and relax! If your conversation comes across as effortless, you’ll be seen as self assured and cool. Of course, if you can be funny, this will only increase the attraction.
We hope this article has helped give you an idea on what’s the best things to talk about with a girl is, and that you now know what you should and shouldn’t do.
If you’re really struggling with topics, you can check out this article. Remember to not go into interview mode with them, and try changing your questions into statements.
(Quiz Question; What colour should a guy wear on a first date?).
If you have any further questions or feedback, feel free to comment down below, and include your quiz answer.