What to talk about on a first date? Many people ask themselves this question, but not everybody comes up with the right answer. Here you’ll find some great conversation tips for a first date with a lady: what you should talk about and what’s best left unsaid.
Girls love with their ears, so if you can make your conversation flow naturally, it can make or break your chances on the first date. The most important thing is to be able to keep her interest through a great conversation!
Certain topics are great for a first date and other things you should avoid bringing up. At least on the first date. There are many examples when beautiful girls fell in love with average yet charming guys because of their charismatic ways. With a little bit of practice, anyone can learn how to have easy organic conversations that lead to strong relationships!
Find out what she is interested in
When planning what to talk about on a first date, a good place to start is with her interests. Let’s say you invited a girl to the movies or a park on a first date. You probably already know some things about her. For example, she does charity work, volunteers at an animal shelter, enjoys contemporary love poetry, or does embroidery. If you can subtly bring up her hobbies during a conversation – that’ll score you some points.
The most important thing here is subtlety. Do not try to convince her that you, too, enjoy embroidery if you’ve never picked up a needle before. This will not only sound ridiculous, but she will be able to see right through the deceit. Instead, relate to her hobbies by bringing up a cool social media post you saw about a funny embroidery sign. Or you read an article that your city urgently needs volunteers to help stray animals. Make sure you have an idea of what she’s into prior to the date, so you have some examples to bring up.
What to talk about on a first date? 3 Popular topics
If you aren’t sure what to talk about on a first date, it’s always safe to stick to some popular subjects. Common topics for conversation on a first date include work, school, and family. Make sure not to turn your date into an interrogation though. Don’t just ask her about her family, make sure to share something about yours, too. For example: “My brother just got into law school, do you have brothers or sisters?”
Try to dilute dull subjects about work and family with a little bit of humor. For example, my brother went into law, wants to become a detective, thinks he’s going to be the next Columbo. For most girls, humor is a great way to get them feeling at ease during a first date.
Work and school
A very common thing to talk about during a first date is work. You can freely talk about your work, but try not to get carried away. If you are in the business of repairing computers, then you can probably just tell her that instead of going into a monologue about the compatibility of RAM and the generation of processors. It’s best to be open about what you do without boring her. That being said, you shouldn’t be too secretive either. For example: “I work as a system unit assembler and repair laptops. Sometimes I take work home.” If she asks more questions – great, she is interested in hearing more. Respond clearly and honestly. Women can be put off if you act secretive or evasive about what you do.
Typically, a conversation about work on a first date will get her to open up about her job too. Make sure you listen, show interest, and ask follow-up questions. You should not laugh or grin when she talks about her work or study, this is immediately a huge red flag for a girl.
Talking about family on the first date can be a tricky subject – it is usually best to limit yourselves to the question of who is in your immediate family or who you are living with. You can hint about your plans for future family life. You could say: “I live on my own, but sometimes I feel lonely in the evenings”, or another option: “I’m tired of watching Netflix alone, there is no one to share popcorn with”. Make sure not to mention anything about struggling with household chores or wishing there is someone to help with laundry. The last thing you want is to make her feel like you’re just looking for a housekeeper!
A great and positive topic for conversation on a first date is pets – cats, dogs, fish, birds, and other critters. Even if you don’t have a pet of your own, you can tell her about your parents’ pets, friends’ pets, and discuss funny cat videos you’ve seen online. You can even prepare several funny videos in advance to show them to your date on your phone. By the way, this will be a good excuse to sit a bit closer to her.
Know how to market yourself
When you’re thinking about what to talk about on a first date, it’s normal and expected for you to try and present yourself in the best light possible. But you need to make sure you are not talking yourself up the entire night or acting like you’re in a job interview. Be more subtle about it and remember to remain humble. Instead of telling her about all the expensive vacations you’ve been on, you could subtly mention that the coffee you’re drinking is just as good as the one you had in Turkey. It’s best to avoid sounding like you are bragging.
Body language and tone of voice are just as important as the words that come out during a first date. Try not to sound aggressive, snobby, or boastful. While there’s nothing wrong with sharing some of those experiences with her, make sure to share your down-to-earth side with her too. Women like that!
Know how to spice up a conversation
Talks about work, hobbies, and pets can get pretty bland sometimes. If she’s been on any other first dates, she’s probably had those conversations before. The best way you can stand out is by learning how to spice up a conversation, by being exciting and unexpected.
It is important to be able to deftly translate the conversation from the usual discussion of movie characters, for example, into a conversation about something personal. This must be done so that the girl wants to tell you more about herself and her vision of the relationship.
Try to think on your feet and gauge how receptive your date is to the direction in which you are navigating the conversation. The more you can feel her reaction, the better you can guide yourself in a direction you both enjoy.
Everyone loves compliments, and a first date is a perfect time to mention that you like her choice in her outfit, makeup, handbag, hairstyle, etc. Many women devote a lot of time to the way they look, so they will appreciate a compliment. Most importantly, compliments should be genuine. Only mention things you truly like about her. It’s always great to compliment things she chose, such as her outfit or nail color, as opposed to things she was born with. Of course, make sure your compliments are not inappropriate or vulgar, leave bold opinions for another time.
Make sure not to turn the entire conversation into praise. Too many compliments will make any woman uncomfortable, and feel like you’re putting her on a pedestal. Your chances of a second date might diminish.
In case of an awkward pause
If there is an awkward pause in the conversation on the first date, then your best bet is to have a story or joke up your sleeve that will rekindle the conversation. It could be a funny incident from your childhood, a story about a job interview, your opinion about a movie you watched the other day. You can come up with a few of these talking points in advance so that you are well prepared for your date.
These stories should be easy and lighthearted. A story about your first job and what you spent your money on will do. But there is no need to talk about how you became a better employee, or how the company will cease to exist without you. Remember, the last thing you want to do is come off self-absorbed. So keep it light and entertaining!
What not to talk about on a first date with a girl
We’ve discussed a lot about what to talk about on a first date, but what kinds of topics should you avoid? It is definitely not worth talking about wars, diseases, epidemics, and torment, unless, of course, she’s into that stuff. You don’t have to complain about your life, talk about your exes (in a negative or positive light), or touch on politics or religion. Even strong married couples can struggle with these topics, and on the first date they can completely cut off a promising relationship.
First dates can be a magical opportunity to get to know your potential partner better and make a lasting impression. These tips for what to talk about on a first date should get you started on the right path, and the rest is in your hands. Remember to be yourself and have fun while getting to know your date!