When you first get into a relationship, your body can become addicted to the chemicals that are released when you’re around your partner. Dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin will cause you to associate happiness with your new beau. When he’s away, you’ll crave to be near him. So, why don’t you miss your boyfriend anymore?
The longer you’re with someone, the less affected you’ll be by the attachment hormone, oxytocin. This could be because of emotional security, or because you might have fallen out of love.
In this article, we’ll delve into why you don’t miss your boyfriend anymore to help you figure out if your relationship is just needing some work, or if there’s a more serious issue that you may need to address. We’ll also expand on what happens to you when you do miss someone, so you can better understand how it might affect you.
Why don’t I miss my boyfriend anymore?
Once you no longer have an emotional attachment to your boyfriend, you won’t miss him when he’s not around. The chemical oxytocin is responsible for a person to feel attached to someone and will be more intense at the beginning of a new relationship as opposed to a couple who’s been long-term.
Depending on how long you’ve been with your boyfriend, the honeymoon phase of your relationship could have come to an end. During this stage, you’ll almost obsess over your beau. You won’t want to spend time apart, and constantly feel euphoric when you’re in each other’s company.
This period is known to last anything between six months and two years. As soon as you transition out of it, you’ll start to notice flaws in your partner that you didn’t before, and be okay with spending time apart.
Have you been actively working on your relationship? One of the signs that may depict you’ve fallen out of love with your boyfriend is if you wouldn’t fuss if you didn’t see him for an extended period.
Psychotherapist, Rachel Wright from We-Vibe advises that ‘falling out of love’ is a choice, and might be a Red flag that you no longer have an interest in putting in the necessary effort to help maintain your relationship.
Is it normal not to miss my boyfriend?
It’s normal to not miss your boyfriend when you’re busy focusing on your own physical and emotional requirements, without the need to rely on your partner. This is a healthy sign that you can be autonomous in companionship, and not be dependent on your boyfriend.
Elite Daily published an article with insight from a psychologist, Jennifer B Rhodes. She explained that in a longer-term relationship, less oxytocin will be released when your partner is away from you. This is due to either emotional security in your relationship or, a lack of sentiment.
Oxytocin is the chemical that is associated with attachment and will be present in your bloodstream when you bond with your boyfriend. Over time, this hormone will have less of an effect on you and may be the reason why you no longer miss your boyfriend once he’s no longer in your presence.
However, if you can spend a long period away from your significant other, without missing them, this could be because your brain is no longer trying to seek them out, which, will ultimately be a warning sign that the connection you have with your boyfriend is not as strong as it once was.
We wanted to find out from the public whether or not they’ve stopped missing their boyfriend. The results were as follows;
- 83% said yes
- 17% said no
A comment left by a user; Changiis07, age 33 said; ‘It’s normal, relationships you have to work a bit to keep it alive. There are lots of ups and downs.’
How do you know when you don’t love your boyfriend anymore?
A sign that you may no longer love your boyfriend is when you’re okay with not being in his presence. An authorised marriage therapist, Heidi McBain shared insight on this with Insider. She advised that when you don’t appreciate the time spent with your partner, regardless of the event, there’s a fundamental part amiss in your relationship.
When you fall out of love with your boyfriend, your brain will no longer associate him with happiness. This is due to a lack of stimulation in the reward centres of the brain, where the chemical dopamine will release into the bloodstream.
Your brain will invoke fewer positive feelings when you’re around your partner. You may even find yourself judging traits about your boyfriend that you didn’t before.
Once there’s a lack of attachment in your relationship, you might start to exclude him from monumental turning points in your life. If your significant other isn’t the first person you think to talk to when a pivotal moment occurs, your connection might have become stale.
(Did you know; when you miss someone, it can decrease your productivity levels by 70%).
A few of the other leading signs that you may no longer love your boyfriend include;
- You don’t want to make compromises
- His opinion is no longer of value
- There’s a lack of effort from you in the relationship
- It feels like something is missing
A lot of the time, couples worry that arguments are a detriment. However, an article published by Bustle advises that conflict in moderation will benefit a relationship. If you and your boyfriend no longer have disagreements, this is a further warning sign that you or he may no longer care.
Relationships require work. It’s inescapable that you’ll have ups and downs. Before you address ending your relationship, consider whether or not you might just be experiencing a natural slump.
How does your body react when you miss someone?
A chemical reaction in your brain can cause you to have withdrawal symptoms. Similar to substance addiction, your mind will cause you to seek out your partner so you can receive the hormones dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin. These are the neurotransmitters that will make you feel pleasure and joy.
When you’re unable to see your boyfriend, the level of these chemicals will drop. This is why you may start to feel a yearning for your partner. Your mood might drop and even struggle with your daily activities.
If an individual has an obsessive personality, missing their partner can start to consume their mind, and interfere with their rational way of thinking.
Your emotions will imitate your brain, which is why you’ll feel heartache when your boyfriend is not around.
To help increase the ‘love’ hormones in your body when you miss someone, you can utilise activities that will provide you with a dose of these chemicals to make you feel better. This includes going for a massage, being around friends and hugging.
Breathwork, meditation or yoga will aid in the release of dopamine and oxytocin.
Why don’t I feel a spark with my boyfriend anymore?
Once the honeymoon phase is over, the spark or thrill of a new relationship can subside. You may have become complacent, and stopped making an effort to do new and exciting activities in your relationship. It’s important to constantly make an effort, and work on sustaining the attraction between you and your boyfriend.
When intimacy is gone in a relationship?
When intimacy is gone in a relationship, it could be a sign that you no longer have an emotional attachment to your boyfriend. You might feel as though there is distance between you and your partner. There will always be ups and downs in a relationship. If there’s been a decrease in intimacy, it’s important that you actively make an effort to work on rebuilding the connection.
Once you realise you no longer miss your boyfriend as you once did, you must take some time to evaluate your relationship as a whole. Have you been together long-term and you’re just emotionally secure when he’s away, or, do you prefer it when he’s not around?
We hope, with this article that you’re now able to properly decipher where you’re at in your relationship. It’s completely normal to be less affected by the attachment chemical, oxytocin when you’ve been with your beau for a while.
However, if you don’t miss your boyfriend and prefer to be alone the majority of the time, this could be a warning sign that you’ve fallen out of love.
(Quiz Question; when you miss someone, what percentage of your productivity gets affected?). Submit your answer down below.