If you’re wondering why does he keep cancelling your dates, chances are this has happened on more than one occasion.
It can be extremely frustrating, especially if he cancels last minute. Is he stringing you along, or does he have a valid reason? When the guy cancels your dates, is he the one to initiate a rescheduled time, or do you ask him to meet up again?
He can like you, but not be ready to meet you. If he’s insecure about his physical appearance, he may avoid you seeing him in person until he feels better about himself.
In this article, we will expand on all the reasons behind why he keeps cancelling your dates. We will also advise you on what you should do when this happens, and delve into why a guy might not be ready to meet you.
Why does he keep cancelling our dates?
Whether you met a guy through a dating app or on a night out, if he keeps cancelling your dates, he could already be in a relationship. Someone unhappy with their current partner may seek validation and attention from another person without acting on it. If you fuel his ego, it will make him feel better in his current situation.
Did you know; there’s been research that claims 30% of Tinder profiles are married, and 12% of users are already in a relationship.
It’s important to take note of whether or not he reschedules the dates, or just cancels them. Are you the one to initiate trying to meet up again?
Each dilemma will bring on different reasons as to why he keeps making plans and then cancelling.
If he reschedules your dates;
1. He’s a catfish
A catfish is a person who uses a false online persona. They could utilise old pictures of themselves where they no longer look like that, or, be a complete fake account.
Constant cancelling and rescheduling can become quite concerning, and bode the question; ‘am I being catfished?’. If you met online and he knows he does not look like his pictures, he’ll reschedule your dates so you don’t meet him, but still, be open to talking to him.
2. He’s insecure
If he’s insecure about his appearance, the way he speaks, or what you might think of him in person, he’ll stall the date.
He could like you but feels like he needs to avoid you so as not to ruin the connection you’ve built online. If he has an issue with his appearance, he could reschedule the date until he feels better about himself.
3. You’re out of his league
Firstly, no one is out of anyone’s league, but if a guy (or girl) believes they’re talking to someone over text that would never give them a second look in person, they’ll delay meeting up.
In this instance, it’s clear they like you, but have a constant fear they’ll lose you once you go on a date.
Trust your intuition, if you feel like you’re being strung along, you probably are. If a guy likes you, he’ll make the effort to see you. If he doesn’t, he won’t make any effort. He may not want to hurt your feelings, which is why he’ll rather keep cancelling your dates than speak to you about it.
What to do if he keeps cancelling dates
If he keeps cancelling dates, the best thing to do is to not entertain it. If a guy knows you’ll be okay with it every time he drops you, he won’t feel the need to input as much effort for your time. There is a good chance that he’s just not ready to start seeing somebody, and may just want the fun and flirting that comes with speaking to somebody over text.
As the saying goes; ‘don’t put all your eggs in one basket’; you should not put all your time and effort into this guy. You must go on multiple dates. Once he knows he’s not your only choice, he’ll no longer think you’re readily available when it suits him.
If you’re actively dating, it will help improve your self-esteem, and confidence, and feel less affected when he keeps cancelling your dates.
You may like the guy, and think you won’t meet anyone quite like him. If this is the case, you’re going to invest a lot of your time and effort into him before you’ve met him.
Try and steer your mindset away from this. Once you believe that there is an abundant amount of good guys you can meet, you won’t feel compelled to accept him continuously cancelling your dates.
Why is a guy not ready to meet me in person?
A guy who is not ready to meet you will keep cancelling plans. If he thinks you’re more ‘into it’ than he is, he may feel like there’ll be pressure for him to move at your pace than his own. Nobody wants to rush into anything, especially when it comes to starting a new relationship. He could not be ready to meet you because he wants to take the time to understand what his feeling is for you.
The majority of the time, when a guy says he’s ‘not ready’ it implies two things;
- He’s not really into you but doesn’t know how to tell you without hurting your feelings
- You’re moving at a faster pace than he is, and he doesn’t want to rush things
If you’ve been speaking to one another for some time over text, but he keeps cancelling your dates, he may not be ready to meet you in person for one of the following reasons;
1. He’s still getting over an ex
He may have just gotten out of a relationship, and isn’t ready to start meeting other women just yet, but is wanting attention to help him feel better.
2. He’s seeing somebody else
You could be speaking to a guy who is still in the process of ending things with the girl he’s currently seeing and does not feel like it’s right to meet up with you until it’s over.
3. He’s not ready to put in the effort
If a guy is speaking to multiple different girls at a time, you may just not be at the top of his priority list. He may go on other dates before you to suss out how he feels and is not ready to put in the effort to meet you just yet.
Note if he sometimes doesn’t reply to your messages, and leaves you on read for a couple of days. This is a good indicator that he may be stringing you along.
He hasn’t asked to meet in person
If he hasn’t asked to meet you in person, even after you’ve been speaking to each other for a while, there’s a high probability that he has no intention to meet up with you. He may have realised already through chatting to you that you’re not the one for him, but he doesn’t know how to reject you without upsetting you.
Once you realise he’s not going to ask to meet you in person, you should let him go. You might find once you stop making an effort to chat with him, the communication between the two of you will die out.
You’ll know when a guy is interested in you. He will put in the effort to see you, and you won’t have to question his behaviour.
How do you respond to a rescheduled date?
Acknowledge that the person has rescheduled. Take note of how they respond to you. Are they genuinely sorry or does it come across as fickle? Keep your messages polite and just be aware for the next time your date comes around.
Is it rude to cancel plans last minute?
Cancelling plans last minute can be frowned upon. Sometimes, however, it cannot be avoided if there’s been an emergency or something crucial has come up. You should refrain from cancelling plans last minute. You committed to someone. At the very least, give a few days’ notice if you want to cancel.
If he keeps cancelling your dates, you may need to take this as a sign to distance yourself from him and refrain from putting in as much time and effort.
A guy can keep making plans with you, but reschedule if he likes you, but is not ready to meet you. This could be because of an insecurity, or he thinks you won’t be as attracted to him once you see him in person.
It’s important to follow your gut feeling. If you feel as though he’s stringing you along, take note of this, and politely back off. Make time to meet up with other guys, and remember to have fun in the process!
(Quiz Question; what percentage of Tinder profiles are already married?). Submit your answer with our comments box below.