Clubbing is a space for people to drink, dance, have fun and probably hook up. So, we understand your concerns about your girlfriend going clubbing. Giving your partner the liberty to enjoy herself is important, but, be vigilant about the activities they partake in.
It’s important to keep your cool and not jump to conclusions that she might be cheating. You should get worried if she gets shady or defensive when you bring up her clubbing habit. Also, if she doesn’t want to go to the club with you, or she shows some signs of being distant from you.
Going clubbing is not a bad activity but some factors might make you worrisome, doubtful, and suspicious. Be worried if your girlfriend goes clubbing regularly without you. You should also be worried about the kind of crowd she hangs with. Drinking and dancing can be so much fun, that she might get tipsy and slip up.
To help you figure out whether or not you should be worried, we have compiled this comprehensive article on understanding what her clubbing could mean, and the effects it could have on your relationship if not handled properly.
Should I be worried if my girlfriend goes clubbing?
You should not be worried about your girlfriend going clubbing if she goes with her girls and if she goes occasionally. However, you must worry if your girlfriend goes clubbing with strangers. Concerns can also pop up if she goes every weekend and shows no interest in going with you.
Your girlfriend might want to go clubbing because she feels overwhelmed and needs space. Space and privacy are important factors in a relationship, but make sure you’re giving space for the right reason.
When your girlfriend develops a love for clubbing, you need to calm down and observe things. Do not worry about her activities, and allow her to have some fun. Nevertheless, worries will spring up naturally when it becomes too frequent and if she begins to act differently.
Here are some other reasons you should be worried about your girlfriend going clubbing:
1. She wears seductive clothing
Your girlfriend might be wearing seductive clothes to draw the attention of guys in the club. She also might wear those dresses to feel good about herself. However, it’s best to not grieve about her clothing choices. Instead, you can respectfully bring up how her attire choice makes you feel uncomfortable.
A lot of the time, men assume women get dressed up to impress the opposite sex. The Daily Mail published an article where Simple Skincare conducted a survey with 2000 ladies, to find out if women do in fact get dressed up to gain the attention of guys.
Here’s what they found;
- 48% said they would much prefer a compliment from a woman than a man
- 22% confirmed a males opinion does not matter to them
- Over half stated they have never gotten dressed up purely to impress a male
60% of women advised that when they got ready, they were thinking about their girlfriends.
2. Overenthusiasm over clubbing
A very big sign that you may need to worry is her approach towards clubbing. If she’s only looking forward to clubbing every week instead of other shared activities, this may be a warning sign.
Your girlfriend should be enthusiastic about doing fun things with you, but if going to a club comes first, there may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Frequently going out on the weekends, especially to a nightclub could be a sign that she may be unsatisfied in your relationship.
3. Secretive behavior
If your girlfriend begins to exhibit very shady and secretive behavior after clubbing, then you should be worried. This can include hiding her texts, going to secluded places to receive calls, or changing passwords.
These may be methods to keep you from finding out about her activities in the club, or new people she might have met while clubbing.
4. Reduced or altered intimacy
Your girlfriend’s clubbing habits could lead to a change in the intimacy between you two. She may become averse to your touch, or you may start having sex less frequently. If there is no other logical reason for these kinds of changes, she may have started some intimate affairs during her outing.
5. Lying or hiding things from you
You should be worried if she starts to tell you lies to cover up her whereabouts and the people she hangs around. If you notice your girlfriend telling lies about her schedule or activities in the club, then you should be worried.
Is it normal to be bothered when my girlfriend goes out?
If you struggle with feeling insecure, or you become jealous, it will be normal to feel bothered when your girlfriend goes clubbing. Ultimately, jealousy comes from a lack of trust in your relationship. It will affect you when your significant other goes out without you because you may start to think irrational thoughts.
Additional to this, if you’re a couple that spend a lot of time together, it can be difficult to spend time apart. You might start to feel lonely or harbor unhealthy thoughts. It can be normal to worry when your girlfriend goes out, as it shows that you want to be with them.
However, if it bothers you not only when your girlfriend goes to a nightclub, but also when she does her own thing, this could be a warning sign that you’re unable to be autonomous in a relationship.
Are you able to focus on your own life without having to constantly be with your girlfriend? Do you begin to feel anxious and/or stressed when your girlfriend prioritises life outside you? If so, you might have codependent characteristics.
What are some codependent behaviors?
If someone is codependent in a relationship, they may be unable to feel satisfied when they do things without their partner. He or she will depend on their significant other to make them feel safe and secure in the relationship.
A codependent will struggle to reinforce their boundaries because they won’t want to create conflict between them and their partner. This in turn, will have a negative affect on his or her self esteem.
When you have a low-self esteem, you’ll be prone to feeling insecure that your girlfriend is going to leave you. This can make you become controlling which is why it will bother you when she goes to the club.
While worrying itself is not wrong, your worries can lead to bad outcomes if not managed well. When these feelings come up, it is important to not act on them irrationally. Instead, reach out to your girlfriend and let her know how you feel.
(Did you know; in a survey that was conducted by ReportLinker, from 550 individuals in a relationship, 12% said they met their significant other in a bar).
We asked this question on one of our public forums, GirlsAskGuys to find out what the men think about their girlfriends going out clubbing.
Here’s the results;
- 30% said they do not worry at all
- 70% confirmed they’d rather not have their girlfriends going clubbing
Some of the feedback received is as follows;
- ‘As long as I trust her and know she isn’t doing anything wrong. I don’t care what she does as long as she has good morals and values’ – Whatever29229229, age 22
- ‘Yes but not because of her. There are guys out there who are crazy and try to force women to do anything.’ – Anonymous, age 25-29
- ‘It’s just weird to do if you’re in a relationship in my opinion, whether that be guys going to a strip club without their girlfriend or girls going to a nightclub without their boyfriend.‘ – Dynamic-yandere, age 30
- ‘Yes, those days were hell. She wasn’t very respectful or responsible when drunk.’ – Dex402, age 42
From this, we can see in general, men are not entirely comfortable with their girlfriend’s going out clubbing.
How to address her clubbing
When it comes down to it, the best way to deal with such problems is by communication. If you find that your girlfriend is going clubbing a bit too often, it would be helpful to start a conversation about it. Let your girlfriend know how you feel about her new habits. While you’re doing this, we would advise that you don’t approach her with an accusatory tone.
Rather, let her know your thoughts and feelings on the matter and give her space to express hers.
The goal of your conversation should be to reach a compromise that suits both of you. Some examples of compromise include:
- Your girlfriend agreeing to reduce the frequency of her clubbing.
- You agreeing to go clubbing with her sometimes.
- The both of you could agree on a different shared activity besides clubbing on weekends.
- You can come up with a system of communication while she’s out so that you don’t have to worry.
These are just examples. Ultimately, you and your girlfriend must find a compromise that you both agree with. It’s okay to worry about her, but the best course of action is to express those worries and find resolutions.
If, however, you find that she doesn’t take into account how you feel, or becomes solely defensive on the matter, this could be a warning sign that she may not respect you enough to take your feelings into consideration. In this case, you might want to take some space away for yourself to evaluate your relationship.
Should I go clubbing with my girlfriend?
When you’re in a fundamentally strong relationship, going clubbing with your girlfriend can be a fun experience, and enhance the attraction between the two of you. When a couple shares this activity, it is known to be the ultimate relationship test. Will you be confident enough to know that other men may be looking at your girlfriend?
Will your girlfriend get jealous if she see’s another woman chatting to you? Are you able to be in a single environment, where individuals are out to meet someone they’re attracted to without feeling insecure?
Clubbing with your girlfriend may help improve your relationship. The atmosphere can make you fall in love with her again, and give you more reasons to be with her. You get to see how fun she is, and how great she dances. So, when you go clubbing with your girlfriend, relax and have the best time with her.
The many added benefits that come with going to the club with your girlfriend include;
- You won’t worry about what other people think
- It’s a guarantee that you’re not going home alone
- You no longer need to find the courage to approach someone
However, if it causes you great discomfort and concern when you’re out with your girlfriend, you might need to come to a compromise in your relationship where you perhaps don’t go clubbing too often. Or, you might need to work on any insecurities you might have in your relationship.
Can you go clubbing while in a relationship?
There is no hard and fast rule on what to do or not to do. People in relationships can go to clubs, whether individually or together, for many reasons. As long as there is trust and open communication in your relationship, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Should we just break up?
A breakup might be the only option if you and your girlfriend reach an impasse. You should not consider a breakup as the first option, but rather as a last resort. If you approach the situation with the plan to break up, you may not be open to seeing things from her perspective, or finding a compromise that suits the both of you.
Is it okay to go clubbing without your partner?
Yes, it is okay to go clubbing without your partner. Some individuals do not approve of their partner going clubbing without them for many reasons. One of the reasons is infidelity; their partners have probably shown signs of cheating and they’re trying to avoid it. Another reason is lack of trust; they do not trust their partners with other people. Whatever the case, they feel insecure and lack trust.
When your girlfriend goes clubbing, depending on how secure you feel in your relationship, it can stir up many different feelings and emotions. If you’re insecure, it might bother you more than it should. Once you understand why this is, you’ll be able to address the issue accordingly.
A lot of the time, women dress up more for their friends and to impress other ladies, rather than to gain attention from other men. If your partner is actively going to nightclubs every weekend, without wanting to spend quality time with you, you may need to have a conversation with her. Let her know how it makes you feel. If she can understand where you’re coming from than great! If not, you may need to reconsider how healthy your relationship is.
(Quiz Question; what percentage of individuals in a relationship met their partner at a bar?). Let us know your answer in the box below.