Should I Ask a Girl For Her Number or Instagram: Connect

should i ask a girl for her number or instagram

Should you ask a girl for her number or Instagram upon your first interaction?

Both platforms have their own advantages and disadvantages, which need to be looked at before you initiate your request.

Instagram, for example, is more reliable than receiving a phone number, however, the counterpart for the social media app is that it can come across as insincere.

Do you want to increase your chances for a positive exchange with a girl you’re interested in?

We have generated this straightforward guide to help answer your question of if you should ask a girl for her number or Instagram. We will delve into the benefits and negatives for both, so you can move forward with confidence in your interaction.

Should I Ask a Girl For Her Number or Instagram?


It’s more sincere to ask a girl for her number than it is to ask for her Instagram. With that being said, in this day and age, individuals are less likely to give out their numbers to people they don’t know. Besides this, certain factors need to be taken into account.

The question, should I ask a girl for her number or Instagram needs to be looked at from both angles, however, attraction needs to be already built between yourself and the girl before you ask her for her number.

If you only have a few minutes to speak to a girl, your best bet would be to get her Instagram account. This will allow you to later build up the attraction.

Once you have her on Instagram, she will then be able to check out your profile. Will a girl like you if she sees your Instagram posts? Definitely!

Liking what you see on a person’s profile is one of the first steps in establishing a connection with someone.

Let’s look at both angles to properly determine if you should ask a girl for her number or Instagram;

Benefits of Asking a girl For Her Instagram

should i ask a girl for her number or instagram
Should I ask a girl for her number or Instagram?

One benefit of asking a girl for her Instagram handle is that it’s quick, and won’t take up too much time to get it. This is especially handy if you are in a time-sensitive situation, and don’t have much time to establish a connection with the girl. 

Other benefits for asking a girl for her Instagram instead of her number include;

1. Use your Profile to Your Advantage

If you have built up your Instagram profile with a wide range of pictures, and a good bio, you can use this to your advantage.

An impressive profile will instigate interest, and get the girl wanting to know more about you.

2. You can Build on Trust and Comfort

We’re more cautious these days to give out our phone number to someone we have only met. Particularly for a woman, giving someone their Instagram account detail is safer.

From here you will be able to start a conversation. Through this, she will start to feel comfortable and at ease with you.

3. Relieves Pressure

With Instagram being a social media account, it’s easy for people to hand over their account details to gain a new follower, or following.

When you ask a girl for her Instagram, she has the choice to accept your request (if she’s on private) and decide whether or not she wants to follow you back.

Curiosity, however, can set in, which can cause the girl to want to follow you back to see your profile.

4. Reliable

There’s always the chance that someone might lose their mobile, or get it stolen without being able to recover their number and/or contacts.

Receiving a girl’s Instagram account is more reliable than a number. We can access our socials on any smart device.

Imagine getting your crush’s number, and the very next day you lose all points of contact, disappointing, to say the least.

We’ve got all the benefits of asking a girl for her Instagram, so now it’s time to delve into the disadvantages of using Instagram to contact a girl.

5. Build-up Your Value

Once you follow each other on Instagram, you will be able to increase your ‘value’ with your posts and interactions.  This will give you a chance to increase the investment she will have with you which can ultimately lead to you asking for her number.

Instagram is great for building up attraction, as long as your media is authentic and genuine.

(Did you know; 64% of online daters want to find someone that shares common interests. In second place is attractiveness at 49%).

If your Instagram profile exhibits all the things you’re interested in, this will work in your favour.

Disadvantages of Asking a Girl For Her Instagram

Even though asking a girl for her Instagram is more common these days than a number request, it does come with its snags. These include;

1. Flaky

Let’s face it, we’ve all rejected a follow request, or not follow back when we’re not interested in someone. Asking a girl for her Instagram does have the risk of her not following back, or responding to your DM.

Maybe she just wants a new follower? This is a small downside when it comes to using social media as your communication platform.

2. Less Sincere

Although asking a girl for her Instagram is easy and efficient, however, it does have the potential to come across as shallow and insincere.

With Instagram, you will need to ensure you show that you’re interested in the girl. This will help stop her from thinking there’s a possibility you won’t communicate with her on the app.

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From this, we can see the negatives of asking a girl for her Instagram is overruled by the benefits. It’s a great platform to initiate a conversation through the use of reacting to posts and will allow you to create a base.

Let’s move on to whether or not you should ask a girl for her number;

Benefits of Asking a Girl For Her Number

should i ask a girl for her number or instagram
Should I ask a girl for her number or Instagram?

Asking a girl for her number is a clear sign that you’re interested in her, and you want to get to know her better. This will show the girl that you’re sincere about talking to her after you have parted ways. Ensuring there’s genuineness in your request will alleviate any doubt the girl may have. 

Other benefits include;

1. Shows Confidence in Yourself

We all know confidence in a guy is an attractive trait. If you’re asking a girl for her digits, it shows that you’re assertive and willing to put yourself forward.

2. A Number is More Direct

Asking a girl for her number will give her a clear indication of what your intentions may be. For example, we know requesting a person’s Instagram can be perceived as flaky, however, a number is pretty much a definite sign of showing interest in someone.

3. More Responsive

Once you’ve asked a girl for her contact number, it’s a clear sign to her that you’ve got a romantic interest in her.

How she responds to this question can sum up if she feels the same way as you, and show you almost instantly if she’s attracted to you or not.

This will eradicate any doubts, or uncertainty you may have if you had to message her on Instagram.

Okay, so asking a girl for her number has its pros. Let’s distinguish the cons to fully conclude if you should as a girl for her number or Instagram.

Disadvantages of Asking a Girl For Her Number

1. Too Personal

We all know how important it is to be careful who you give your number out to due to safety reasons. With someone’s digits being pretty personal, women are less likely to give out their number than their Instagram handle.

Asking a girl for her number may come across as ‘too forward’ and cause her to feel uncomfortable, which is what we don’t want.

2. False Digits

There’s a possibility a girl may give you a false number if she’s not instantly interested in you.

3. Rapport Building

If you’ve asked a girl for her number instead of her Instagram account, you will be building rapport on a ‘clear canvas’.

What we mean by this is, On Instagram, you would have your profile readily available for the girl to look at. This would spark attraction and curiosity.

Via text, however, all that will be established is the communication, and how she feels when she speaks to you.

Now that we’ve gone through the benefits and disadvantages of both Instagram and a number, we can conclude that overall, you should ask a girl for her Instagram. This will give you time to build up the communication and comfort.

Once there’s investment between yourself and the girl, asking for her number should not come as a surprise to her.

How Do I ask a Girl For Her Number on Instagram?

Guy speaking to Girl
Should I ask a girl for her number or Instagram?

You should ask a girl for her number on Instagram only once you’ve built rapport. This involves getting to know her. At the beginning stage, you’re pretty much just another follower with no investment in you.

One snag about speaking to a girl over Instagram via DM is that most of the time, they’ve already had a few guys trying to speak to them. If they’re not interested, this can create a feeling of frustration when the next person enters their messages.

With that being said, here’s a few key points you should keep in mind before you think about asking for number over Instagram;

  • Get a conversation flowing
  • Show her you’re interested
  • Ask the girl on a date
  • Like few pictures (don’t be excessive)

After speaking for some time, you should be able to suss out if she’s interested in you, and willing to pursue things further. Once you’ve established the rapport, you can ask her for her number.

Should You Ask a Girl For Her Number After First Date?

If you’ve been chatting over Instagram for a couple of days, chances are you’ll be taking the next step by going on an actual date.

The first date is always important to establish how well you get on with someone, and if you see potential for a relationship.

There’s always the possibility that you find yourself not attracted to the person romantically, which is absolutely fine, however, this is why you should ask a girl for her number after the first date.

If you’re looking for a more definite time frame, you can check out this article.

Overall, you should listen to your intuition. If you notice the girl is completely engrossed in what you have to say, and the date is going well, why not ask her for her number there and then?

This may just be what she wants to solidify her (and yours) next best relationship!


With this easy to follow guide, we hope we’ve helped answer your question ‘Should I ask a girl for her number or Instagram’, and that you now feel more comfortable.

Although this post is here to guide you to make the right decision when initiating a point of contact for a girl you may be interested in, it’s still important to listen to your gut instinct.

If she’s showing you signs of definite interest, don’t be afraid to ask her for her number. Not straight away of course, have a conversation first, and build on your rapport.

(Quiz Question; Which is perceived to be more important, attractiveness, or common interests when online dating? Comment with your answer down below).

If you have any questions or concerns, please include this in the box so we can get back to you as quickly as possible.

Should I Ask a Girl For Her Number or Instagram: Connect

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