Love & Relationships
Men and commitment, why don't they fit?
He is cute.
He is smart.
And, his family loves you.
He's had his share of arm candy, crazies and bubble heads, and according to you, your girlfriends and your Mom, he should be ready for the "M" word. So, with summer romance time just weeks away (yes, plenty of people do the countdown), many o' ladies are waiting for that diamond ring to be slipped on their finger to mark what some feel is one of the most romantic periods on the calendar.
But the truth is, the spring and summer is going to come and go, and so many single ladies are going to be asking why hasn't he proposed. As I meet more and more people, I have discovered the sexes really are different, in a good way, but when you are in the midst of a full fledged romance, it's not so easy to understand how they differ and if they will ever change. After talking to and interviewing plenty of men, originally out of plain curiosity, I came to realize the reasons that some men have such a tough time with marriage boils down to just a few.
Admittedly, the reasons are not always easy to hear, but they are definitely important to know. Here is what I came up with, would love to hear from any "altarphobic" guys out there to add to my growing list of reasons.
The Grass Is Always Greener
This is harsh, and the answer is a blameless one. Some men believe it's genetically unnatural to commit. Men have a subconscious instinctive desire to be with as many women as possible. The men who continue to exhibit this behavior, have not been socialized into a monogamous way of thinking.
Sex Isn't Enough
Great physical chemistry with a woman does not command monogamous behavior from a guy. Great sex, attraction and desire are not the ties that bind a man to a woman. In fact, these qualities only open the door for a short time. If a man is not ready, he will tire of the same woman physically no matter how potent her beauty is. Three elements that do keep a man interested: independence, a woman's ability to maintain her identity and a woman who is never too available and too eager.
Fear of Failure
The divorce rate is not pretty, and unfortunately so many men have heard horror stories of failed marriages in which the guy loses everything. While fear of failure seems more like a concern in the business world, it easily crosses over from the boardroom to the bedroom.
Complacency Sets in
Many couples live together these days before getting married, whether it's for reasons of love, convenience, the economy or just to "try it out" before marriage, living together first and marriage can make for strange bed fellows in some cases. Often times, both parties are not communicating and the woman thinks that marriage will follow and the guy is just doing his thing. Either way, it goes without saying in this case communication is key.
Bottom line, ladies I hope that all of your hopes and dreams come true this year if you are waiting for him "to put a ring on it," I'm thinking of you all!
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