Should We Move In Together?
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
My boyfriend and I are planning to move in together. We have been dating for about six months, do you think this step will bring us closer together or could it be worse for the relationship?
This is a big step in a relationship, and it’s not just about finding a great apartment and buying some cool items at Bed, Bath & Beyond to fix it up.
There are some items you should be sorting through to make sure you’re not boxing up your things six months down the road.
- First, he needs to know that YOU consider this a big step in the relationship. Do not let him think you are willing to just be his “roommate.”
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? In it, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
- Second, it is important to let him know where you stand; but you should not have to ask him where HE is in the relationship. If this man wants to spend his life with you, he needs to be sure HE is ready for this next “move.”
- Finally, make certain you are comfortable with his level of commitment, before you hire a U-Haul and sign any 2-year lease.
Is It Love Or Is It Text?
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
I think I am in the middle of a relationship build solely on texting! I met a guy on-line, but have yet to see him in person, all we do is text each other! What does it mean?
Beware of the species of males out there called “the kitchen mavens” a.k.a. “the non-closer.” These are men who talk the talk, or rather type the text, but certainly can’t walk the walk. They are satisfied with an interesting conversation and flirting, but for some reason can’t take it to the next level. A true man wants to hear what you have to say, but initially is more interested in how you look and in physically connecting. If a man isn’t in a hurry to get physical, or at least see you in person, beware, he isn’t that interested or he unfortunately may be one of the above mentioned creatures.
Here are some guidelines to reading between the lines, so you don’t waste time with what we call a “techno tease.”
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal check out: TheLoveConsultants.com
•If he doesn’t ask you out within ten text exchanges, you are getting down to the wire, and on the fast track to Friendship Lane.
•Any late night texts are feeble attempts to appear to be macho. Don’t respond until you see his moves in person.
•He has 10 days from the initial time you meet to CALL (not text). At that point, he must ask you out on a date.
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal check out: TheLoveConsultants.com
Every Guy Reminds Me of My Ex
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
I recently ended a relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years. I don’t regret that decision, but every time I meet someone new, I can’t help comparing him to the guy I just broke up with. What should I do?
A: Congratulations on your decision to move on-- you should never settle or compromise when it comes to finding a life partner. But every time you compare a potential Mr. Right to Mr. Ex, you are subconsciously putting up a barrier that will keep you alone and in the past. Time will heal these wounds, but in the meantime, try to accept everyone you meet as an individual in their own right and not some version of the guy you just broke up with. If you still find yourself playing the comparing game several months down the line, it may be a sign that you’re not ready to put yourself back in the game just yet.
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal check out: TheLoveConsultants.com
He Is Becoming Clingy
Dear Matt & Tamsen,
My boyfriend of 3 months is becoming clingy. I need some alone time already! Help!
A: Ugh. Your boyfriend is turning into your “Gal Pal,” and if you don’t do something fast, you are going to be forced to take him to the very next “girl’s night out.” There are a few reasons guys develop the “Gal Pal” syndrome.
1. He may truly enjoy every moment spent basking in your glow.
2. He may like shopping malls and spas (though I really have met very few men who fall into this category).
3. He may be very jealous and not trust you just yet.
Whatever the case, some suggestions to wean him off of your girl’s night outing.
1. It’s still a bit soon to be giving him your hourly schedule. Do what you need to do and then call him to let him know you have time.
2. Let him know that spending too much time together isn’t good for you. Yes, it may be harsh…but better now than later.
3. If it’s a night you have plans, tell him you just want to get all pretty for him or get some things done, and then remind him you will be seeing him later (giving him something to look forward too).
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal check out: TheLoveConsultants.com
How To Lose A Man In 60 Seconds
Dear Matt,
Things are going along well in my current relationship, but I am worried about making a wrong move and losing the guy I am with. I am still not sure why my last boyfriend bolted and never gave me a good reason for our breakup. I am looking for the things that turn men off the fastest, so that I can avoid doing them!
This is not difficult, in fact, once you understand men, you won’t be able to get them away from you! Men think in terms of “snap shots.”
We function in the present, not the past and definitely not the future. In our romantic lives, we are generally not planners. We are driven by our desires without much thought to the repercussions of our actions. Here is the key, if women take control and do not let men have their immediate way (physical gratification = sleeping with us) it slows down our actions and forces us to think with our minds instead of anything else! Additionally, most men are hunters and an easy kill is of no interest to them, as they will soon move onto the next prey.
1. Be constantly available.
2. Consult or consider him before any decision.
3. Always talk about the future
For more dating and relationship advice from Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal check out: TheLoveConsultants.com
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