The foolproof way men are now picking up women at the gym.
I don’t go to the gym to prance around in black spandex and a lime green sports bra, trying to get the attention of every bandana wearing man at my gym. I go to the gym to work out and sweat so hard that even I wouldn’t want to sleep with me. It’s not a time for awkwardness or self-consciousness, and although I’ve been known to have some conversations with men I find completely unattractive (they’re safe), it’s not a time for dialogue. To me, it’s a time where I think about how I plan to look in a bikini four months from now, glance a bit too long at specific male representatives using the cable weights, and mind my own business.
Apparently, not everyone chooses to follow my master plan.
While listening (and maybe lip singing) to “More Than A Feeling” on the stair climber the other day, I was accosted. I mean it – accosted by a man old enough to dine with my parents – sorry, mom. He swaggered up to my machine as I tried to face front, but after ten seconds, I couldn’t ignore the staring man to my left. Removing my headphones was the first mistake, which was immediately followed by the second: engaging in conversation. I was naïve to think he wanted to talk about anything other than my plan for the evening. It took him nine flights of stairs to ask me out, which roughly equated to three songs I could have enjoyed instead of being forced into conversation.
Although I’m fully aware that men pick up women at the gym, I’ve never been approached in the midst of a workout. I was flattered by the gesture, amused by the man’s confidence, and completely taken back because I couldn’t use any of the defense mechanisms I typically use when approached by an unsolicited suitor. Think about it. When a woman is approached at a bar or on the street, she automatically has three excuses to use when blowing off a man.
She can pretend to get text or phone call, stare at the phone, and pretend something incredibly important is happening.
She can pull a White Rabbit and be late for a very important date.
She can ignore the man altogether, act like she didn’t hear him speak to her, and keep walking.
I’m not proud of women for using these excuses, but we do – all the time. I thought we could use at least one of the three in any situation, but this little gym incident has proved otherwise. When a woman is working out, she is completely stripped of her typical diversion strategies.
She doesn’t keep her phone with her, so she can’t pretend to get a phone call or be reading/drafting something.
She can’t pretend to be late for anything because she obviously set aside time to be at the gym.
She can’t get off the machine and walk away, pretending not to notice the man is standing next to her.
This got me thinking – for men, picking up women while they’re working out is the perfect plan. We’re stranded, and they’re guaranteed to have our attention. It’s genius!
Most first meeting scenarios give men a limited time to sell themselves to any woman. A man can barely say “hi” as he passes a woman on a crowded street corner let alone engage in any kind of conversation. Yet, when he approaches a woman working out, it’s an entirely different story. She’s not getting off the machine until she’s reached her allotted calorie burn. That can give him up to an hour to win her over. An hour! I may not be a fan of getting trapped on the treadmill or bombarded on the bike, but even I can’t deny the brilliance of this strategy.
In this instance, however, the mastermind behind this tactical approach couldn’t get me to accept his “late night” invitation. He finally got the hint that I wasn’t interested when I claimed to be free spirited and have no idea where I’d be in the next fifteen minutes, let alone in five hours. What can I say? A girl has to have standards.
**NEW** Social Commenting via Facebook
Please Register or Sign In to post a comment!
I don’t like to be bothered when I am working out, let alone talk to someone, if your walking in to the gym or out, this is better! if a guy does this to me then I would not be interested, because he does not value my time that I have for working out, he is being selfish in that it is all about him, I like to keep my concentration when I am in the middle of a workout, don’t talk to me when I am already on a machine.