5 Ways Women Turn Men Off in Three Minutes or Less
Our writier explains it all when it comes to the sometimes scary world of speed dating!
"In three minutes, you can cook an egg, ruin a diet with a Frosty and fries, or ruin your chances of being asked on a date."
A speed date is an audition for a first date. Make one bad joke, say inappropriate comment, or disclose a self-deprecating quirk, and your chances of being asked out disappear like Prada shoes on the sale rack. After taking away rotation time and brief introductions, you only have one hundred and sixty seconds to make a man believe you’re worth seeing again. It’s the most difficult elevator pitch you’ll ever have to give, for selling yourself during that brief period is less about what you say than it is about how you look saying it.
When a man stares at a woman crossing the street, he’s not looking at her personality. His decision to approach has nothing to do with her inner beauty or Political Science degree and everything to do with attraction – an attraction that he either does or doesn’t feel within the first thirty seconds of seeing her. This doesn’t change when a man walks through the doors of a speed dating event, which brings me to the first way women sabotage their speed dating success.
Having an Underwhelming Appearance
You’re in a room with women who are all fighting over the same men – wear something that makes you look hot! Put on eyeliner, apply two coats of mascara, make sure your lips look kissably smooth, and spit out your gum. Speed dating is entirely about first impressions, so flaunt your curves, show a little skin, and dress like you actually want some attention. If you don’t arouse his interest visually, it doesn’t matter what’s coming out of your mouth because he’s already decided you’re not getting a date.
Let’s say the hypothetical you knows the power of appearances and shows up to the event in a slimming black dress…bravo. You’re awkwardly standing alone, so where’s the first place you head? The bar – your intoxication enabler for the evening. Of course you need something to calm your nerves, but watch your intake because the second way women blow their chances is by getting drunk.
Intoxication
Say no to Jack Daniels and Jim Beam when fear and awkwardness take over. Getting drunk is neither the answer, nor a good way to win over any man post-college. Glazed eyes and slurred words aren’t attractive, so allow yourself two drinks for the evening and combat excess thirst with seltzer and limes. I guarantee you can handle awkwardness in three-minute increments. Plus, you need to maintain a level of mental capacity to decide which men you’re into and which you’d rather chew off your pinky than date.
Without your liquor boost, it may be hard to generate conversation, but push through. Men want to date charming and engaging women not mutes, so try hard to fight silence since it easily turns off men.
Silence
If you’re a shy person or one who gets nervous easily, prepare a mental list of topics that you’d be willing to talk about before getting to the event. In the face of silence, bring up a topic from your list and keep the conversation flowing. When you’re going to spend hours with someone, you can be shy and talk less, but when you only have three minutes to impress someone, there’s no time to be coy. If you can’t have a three-minute conversation with a man, he’s going to think your first date will resemble a silent film and won’t ask you out.
Make sure you talk enough for the man to see you’re intelligent and interested, but stop yourself from dominating the conversation. The only thing worse for a man than sitting in silence is hearing a woman talk about herself for three-minutes straight.
Over-Talking
Give men the illusion that you’re interested in what they have to say – it makes them feel valued, important, and attracted to you. The quickest way to shoot down a man’s libido is make him seem completely unnecessary, and having a conversation with yourself is an easy way to do this. To even out speaking time, alternate asking each other questions. Regulating the number of questions you get to ask will assure he gets sufficient time to speak and dazzle you with his answers. Remember, you need to determine if he’s a good match for you too.
Talking the perfect amount won’t matter in the least if you don’t make the conversation interesting. There are only so many times in one night someone can answer the questions, “what do you do?” and “where are you from?” Men don’t want to date women that bore them to death, so a man won’t pick you unless he’s intrigued by you.
Dullness
There’s no excuse for not being able to stimulate a man’s mental muscles for such a limited time. Men undoubtedly like at least two the following - sports, video games, eating, music, and reading – phase them into your conversation. Bringing up topics that peak a man’s interest will make him want to talk with you longer than the allotted time, and therefore, make you stand out from the group. Ask him about his favorite neighborhood restaurant, and you may find yourself laughing over calamari when he takes you there on your first date.
Although you only have three or so minutes with each man, your actions affect what he thinks of you. Choose your outfit wisely, say no to the booze, and watch what you say. Your love life is in your hands, for if you don’t follow these guidelines, the sound of the bell will mean the end of your budding relationship with speed dater #7.
**NEW** Social Commenting via Facebook
Please Register or Sign In to post a comment!
