Securing A Second Date: How Do I Do It?

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Sent in by Miss First Date Fever
February 15, 2011 @ 12:58 pm

Dear Matt & Tamsen,
I am a queen of first dates, but the second one is always a bit of a problem. I am attractive, in my 30’s and have no children, ex-husbands or pets? I work out and love to cook. What am I doing wrong?
It’s not always easy to figure out if a guy is going to ask you out for a second date.
But, you should never, ever, ever ask him out or suggest that you get together again.

Yes, he asked you out.
Yes, you had a great time.
Yes, he will continue his aggressive chase. WRONG.
When the stakes become greater (he starts to like you), some men take it slower. Men hate to look desperate, vulnerable or sappy (some ridiculous male ego thing), so even if he is dying to ask you out for the following weekend he will most likely wait a few days.

Some ways to know whether to pencil him in or out:

1. Send him a thank-you email on Tuesday regarding the date. Casually mention that you had a great time and look forward to doing it again sometime. This gives him the opportunity to reply.
2. If he doesn’t respond, do not contact him via phone or text.
3. Every time you convince yourself he is not interested, re-read this article, and go to the gym without your Blackberry.
4. If you don’t hear from him before noon Thursday, make other plans.

For more dating and relationship advice from Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal check out: TheLoveConsultants.com