Are you a smooth talker amongst your peers but as soon as you’re face to face with a lady, words fail you before you know it, you can’t get a simple sentence out without your speech being broken? If this sounds like you, you probably want to know how to stop stuttering when speaking to girls.
Stammering is a speech disorder, and can be onset during the development stages in childhood, or, through genetics. However, stuttering when speaking can transpire if you’re nervous, specifically if it’s to someone you have a romantic interest in. If someone stutters for no apparent reason, the term for this is ‘Idiopathic stuttering’.
Have you ever thought about the flight or fight mode being the reason why you start to have difficulty with your speech?
We all respond differently when we’re in a stressful situation, or feel nervous. Talking to a girl that you like can be one of these scenarios, although, it does not need to have a negative impact on yourself.
In this simple, yet extensive article, we will guide you through how to stop stuttering when speaking to girls, as well as provide you with key points that will help you understand why you’re stammering, so the next time you talk to a girl, you can initiate a conversation with purpose and confidence.
What causes stuttering in adults?
There is not one specific reason for what causes stammering in adults. Researchers think that stuttering can be caused by a number of different factors. These include hereditary, the language development stage and brain function. Stuttering can, however, be divided into two different types that can help identify what may have caused an individual to start to stutter. Follow on for more information.
These two types are Developmental and Neurogenic stuttering;
Developmental Stuttering:
As the title states, this form of stuttering will mature during the development stages of a young child. This will be between the ages of two and three. Learning how to speak and pronounce words can get disrupted when their ability to talk does not meet the required amount of fluency that is needed to say the word.
During this stage, a child’s brain will seemingly work faster than their mouth’s. This type of stuttering during this age period is completely normal and will disappear within six months.
Developmental stuttering can become a concern if it lasts longer, or the child displays facial changes like grimaces when they try and speak. If you notice this, it is recommended that you go see a speech therapist.
This stuttering can also be brought on by genetics. If someone in the family stutters or did stutter, a child can acquire the same gene. Through practice you can minimise how often the stammer will occur.
Research has found that roughly 75% of children will recover from stuttering. The remaining percentage will grow up to have trouble with their communication.
Neurogenic Stuttering:
If someone has experienced some sort of head trauma, either a head injury or a stroke, it can be an on-set for stuttering.
This is because the trauma could have caused the person’s brain to no longer be able to differentiate between the different parts of the brain that controls talking and acknowledging the correct pronunciation of words.
To summarise, we know stuttering is a speech disorder and can be caused either through genetics, underdevelopment, or as a side effect from head trauma.
Certain antidepressant medication can cause a person to stammer as a side effect. These include Amitriptyline and Sertraline.
However, sometimes, we end up stuttering all of a sudden when we’re speaking to someone of the opposite gender when we would never stutter before. Why does this happen, and can we prevent it from occurring?
Did you know, high levels of stress can cause an adult to start stuttering? If you suffer from social anxiety, talking to a girl, specifically if you like her can trigger your stress levels, and be the reason why you stammer.
Why am I stuttering when I’m talking to a girl?
Do you find yourself starting to suddenly stutter when you’re speaking to a girl? Feeling nervous, and under pressure is a catalyst for someone to start stammering. These emotions can be brought on when you’re head on with someone you like, and want to impress. The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders have found that the number of boys who stutter is up to four times larger than the number of girls.
If you’re afraid to talk to a girl that you have a crush on, your stress levels will increase, and decrease your confidence.
Lack of confidence is one of the main reasons for many social avoidances and is a massive trigger for individuals with a speech defect.
Even if you have managed to get your stuttering under control, a simple wave of negative emotions can bring back the stammering.
To help you understand why this is happening, so we can later look at resolutions that you will be able to put into action, we have broken down the key factors for why you’re now suddenly stuttering;
(Did you know; Stuttering is more common in males than it is in females? It has been said to be around four times more prone in men).
1. Lack of confidence
Lack of confidence, or low self-esteem can cause a person to fear verbal interactions. When you feel inferior to someone you want to speak to, you may be worried that they’re going to judge you if you mispronounce a word, or that you won’t speak up to their standard.
2. Overthinking
Overthinking will make it harder for you to make decisions, and cause you to feel stressed. When this happens during a conversation, it will interfere with the flow of your speech.
Are you planning on telling a girl that you like her, but you’re anxious about what the outcome is going to be?
Humans overthink because it gives us a false illusion of control. We always want to know what’s going to happen next, and when we don’t, that’s when the stress kicks in.
3. Feeling nervous
It’s a normal human response to feel nervous when we’re in a stressful situation. But why are we nervous? It’s the fear of rejection.
Feeling nervous is more common when you’re meeting someone for the first time, so if you’re going on the first date, it’s pretty normal to feel nervous. If you can accept the wave of emotions, and try not to worry about the end result, you’ll find it easier to relax.
4. Pressure
When we’re speaking to someone we like, we want them to feel the same way that we do.
You don’t want the other person to judge you, or negatively see you so we, as humans tend to put pressure on ourselves to act, or be a specific way to try and impress them.
In modern-day society, there is supposedly a ‘certain criteria’ that need to be met, and if we don’t fall in line with this, we’re less likely to succeed. Or so we think.
5. Stress
Ever heard of Psychogenic Stuttering?
This is when stuttering is brought on from emotional stress, and can pretty much sum up why you may be stuttering suddenly when talking to a girl.
How to stop stuttering when speaking to girls
If you’re an individual who does not necessarily have fluency disorder but tends to stutter when you’re speaking to a girl because of nerves, you’re in luck! Why, might you ask? Well, you will be able to get your stuttering under control with the information you’re about to read.
We’re all somewhat aware of the ‘Flight or Fight’ mode which occurs when your body has a rush of adrenaline. This will increase your blood pressure, your heart will beat quicker and you will have a boost of energy.
You end up stuttering when you’re speaking to girls because your mind will see the situation as a threat to your safety, and put your body in the flight or fight mode to initiate protection.
First and foremost, to have control over your stammering, you need to believe in yourself!
Remember, lack of confidence is one of the main reasons why you’re stuttering when you’re speaking to girls. As long as you’re happy with yourself, and pretty much think you’re the next Greek God of the current century, you’ll be able approach girls and be smooth while doing so.
1. Be confident
Found on the website Lexico a definition of ‘Confidence’ is as follows; ‘A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s abilities or qualities’
Do you trust yourself, and feel grounded in your capabilities? If you’re self-assured, why would you be concerned about your stuttering?
Having a mentality of, ‘I know my attributes, and any girl would be lucky to speak to me’ is important if you want to stop stuttering when speaking to girls.
2. Take your time
Don’t be afraid of pauses! Feeling pressured when you’re talking to a girl will come about when you assume you shouldn’t take too long to complete a full sentence.
There’s nothing wrong with taking your time. If you’re starting to stutter, taking some time in between words and phrases is a communication tool that will help alleviate stammering.
This will give your brain more time to process what you want to say.
Remember, women are attracted to behaviours that contain mystery and anticipation. By slowing down whilst you speak will keep the girl you’re speaking to expecting what you’re going to say next. Guys tend to think rushing and talking quickly will keep their love interest engaged, however, the opposite is true.
By taking your time, a mysterious sub-communication is created which causes primitive attraction between women and men.
3. Accept the stuttering
Stuttering is only ever perceived with negative connotations. If you accept that you’re stuttering when you’re speaking to girls, it will help you feel less stressed in the situation.
Most of the time, we all like someone who can make us laugh, so if you’re trying to impress a girl and you’re worried your stammering is going to interfere, why not use it to your advantage?
Studies have shown that women are more attracted to a guy that can make them laugh, and men steer more towards women who find them funny. You can read more on this here.
4. Open with a question
This one is more of a tip to help you feel less nervous when’re going to start talking to a girl. Knowing what your conversation starter is will alleviate pressure off of knowing what to say. We all hope to not have to experience that ‘awkward silence’.
One of the best conversation starters is asking a lady what her opinion is on something. You can take this further and base the question on a topic you feel confident on.
This will initiate conversation, and get the communication flowing. Before you know it, you’ll be smooth-talking without any concern on whether or not you’re stuttering.
Do girls stutter if they like you?
It’s not only men that will stutter if they’re speaking to a person they’re interested in. Stuttering when you’re nervous is not gender-specific. A girl can stutter when they’re chatting to someone they like just as much as a boy can. If a girl is naturally shy around other people, talking to someone they like can trigger them to stammer.
In hindsight, the question; ‘how to stop stuttering when speaking to girls’ could be changed to; ‘why do I stutter when I talk to my crush’.
Even though it is more frequent in the male population, girls, however, have a higher rate for anxiety and nervousness, which is one of the main factors for stuttering.
If a girl likes you, there is a chance that she may stutter. If she doesn’t stammer, it does not mean she has no interest in you, she may just be more confident, which is a good thing!
FAQ
What age should stuttering stop?
There’s no specific age for when someone should stop stuttering. Depending on why you’re stuttering will determine if it will or won’t stop. If the stammer is simply part of the development phase in a child, it should stop within two years without speech therapy.
How do you talk to a girl without stuttering?
If your stuttering is brought on because you’re talking to a girl you have a crush on, the most important thing you can do is try to relax. Once you’ve relaxed, more blood will flow around your body. When this happens, we will feel calmer, and our mind will become clearer. This will also help you think positively, and enjoy your time spent with the girl.
Conclusion
With this article, we hope we’ve answered your question on ‘how to stop stuttering when speaking to girls’. Do you feel more self-assured, and confident for your next interaction?
It’s important to accept your stutter, whether you have a speech disorder or just need a bit more confidence. For some insight, why not check out this post on ‘The Stuttering Foundation’. It will give you some perspective on feeling self-conscious about stammering.
Once you believe in yourself, you won’t have any issue approaching girls, and chatting to them in a one-on-one environment.
(Quiz Question; Who is more likely to stutter?). Leave a comment with your answer in the box below. Feel free to include any feedback or questions you may have.