How To Ask a Girl Out On A Date On Instagram: 3 Easy Steps

how to ask a girl out on a date on instagram

Do you want to know how to ask a girl out on a date on Instagram?

Is it the first time you’re going to interact with her, or have you had a previous conversation? Before you ask a girl out on a date via Instagram, it’s important that you’ve built indirect and direct rapport. You certainly don’t want to go straight in with asking her out if you have not spoken to her before.

Have you considered the approach of not asking if she wants to go out, but rather assuming that she’s going to join you on a date?

There’s certain factors you need to take in to account when you want to know how to ask a girl out on a date on Instagram the correct way.

In this article we will guide you through everything you need to know on how to ask a girl out on a date on Instagram, from the first initial stages right through to sending a message with the right content so you can have a positive outcome.

How to Show a Girl You Like Her on Instagram

how to ask a girl out on a date on instagram
How to ask a girl out on a date on Instagram

You can show a girl you like her on Instagram by simply liking her posts, reacting to her stories and dropping a comment once in a while. Instagram is one of the most beneficial social media apps in giving someone the availability to show interest in someone without being direct straight away. 

Instagram allows you to gage if a girl (or guy) is interested in you too because you will be able to see if they reciprocate in liking your posts.

Although it’s easy to show that you like a girl via Instagram, you need to be conscious that you don’t overdo it.

Do you already follow each other on Instagram? If not, it is recommended to first follow, and wait for her to follow you back.

Here’s how to show a girl you like her on Instagram without being ‘too much’

1. Like a Few Pictures Only

You don’t want to like too many of her pictures and come across as a bit creepy. You can go for around three to four photos that contain a variety of content

Don’t just like selfies, mix it up a bit from her feed. Girls aren’t interested in someone who only goes for media that displays their physical attributes.

You’re on the right track if she likes one of your photos back.

2. React to Her Stories

What better way to show someone you like them than by reacting to their story posts on Instagram. Similar to a like on a picture, a reaction to a story will let her know you have an interest in what she’s getting up to.

If you react to a story, specifically if you comment, it’s a good opener to start a conversation and is a first step to get to the point of asking her out on a date.

3. Comment on a Picture

If you comment on a girl’s picture, it’s a bit more direct than just giving it a like. There are do’s and don’ts when it comes to posting a comment, especially if you have not met her yet.

When you’re thinking about commenting on a post, remember to not post something you wouldn’t say to her in person.

It’s good to focus on making a general comment. If the post is in a specific location, ask where the photo was taken.

If you want to get things going, instead of commenting, you can send a DM asking her a question based on her recent post.

(Did you know; around 80 million photos are posted on Instagram on a daily basis, along with 4.2 billion likes).

These three steps are great to show a girl that you like her before you ask her out on a date on Instagram.

It lays the foundation, so it doesn’t come as too much of a surprise when she receives a direct message from you.

For more insight on leaving the right comment, you can take a further look here.

How to DM a Girl on Instagram

how to ask a girl out on a date on instagram
How to ask a girl out on a date on Instagram

Before you ask a girl out on a date on Instagram, you should have built an indirect rapport through liking their posts and stories, and initiated a conversation. Have you had a previous interaction with her, or is this going to be the first conversation? If you haven’t spoken before, or you did briefly, you should initiate a conversation before asking her on a date.

If you want to receive a positive response when you ask the girl you like on a date via Instagram, you should first make sure there’s mutual interest before you jump right in with a date request.

Remember, talking over Instagram is not the aim, it should be used only as a stepping stone to arrange a meet up in person.

Let’s look at the simple ways you can spark interest, specifically if this is going to be your first DM to the girl you’re interested in.

The content of your message is important. There are three main rules you should adhere to when you want to first DM a girl over Instagram;

Rule 1. Message Should Offer Interest

Your message should create interest, and spark her to become intrigued in you. One mistake that guys seem to make is that they go in with the boring; ‘Hey, how are you’ type of message.

Girls don’t want to have to keep a conversation going. Chances are, she has had multiple DM’s saying the same thing. You want to be different and ignite curiosity.


Hey (name of girl), I really like your style, you don’t seem like you’re from here.

This statement will provide her with validation, as well as cause her to be intrigued in why you think she’s not from around the area.

Rule 2. Keep Your Message Short, Flirty and Fun

Direct messaging on Instagram is not the way you want to get to know her. It should only be used as a ‘sneak peak’ into your unique personality, so she can catch a glimpse of who you are.

Your messages should contain banter, and be lighthearted. Banter can include playful teasing.


Looking at your Instagram profile, I’m clearly the one for you (name of girl).

A sentence like this will come across as cocky, but in a playful way, and display a subtle sign that your flirty and fun.

Rule 3. Don’t Over Invest in Messaging

Have you ever heard the phrase; ‘Anticipation breeds desire’? Not replying straight away, whether it’s an hour or a whole day builds mystery and unpredictability.

If you respond almost automatically, it won’t create any uncertainty, which is one of the main steps in building attraction.

You don’t want to come across as though you are prioritising messaging her over everything else.

How to Ask a Girl Out On a Date on Instagram

Couple on a Date
How to ask a girl out on a date on Instagram

Before you ask a girl out on a date on Instagram, you first want to remind her of why she initially gave you her Instagram handle. This applies if you’ve met her before, and you asked her for her social media account. This is otherwise known as ‘Mood Congruence’ and will allow her to recall a good memory that is associated with yourself.

This could be a playful message about the last time you met each other, or something you noticed about her in a previous interaction.

Remember, you want to be different, so staying away from small talk is essential.

Okay, so what if you haven’t met before, and all you have is a connection over Instagram?

1. Be Direct

Instagram can be quite confusing when it comes to knowing for sure if someone is interested in you. You may have a back and forth of liking each other’s posts, and reactions to each others stories, but if you don’t send a direct message, it can be left for misinterpretation.

Instagram is perfect for finding out what someone is interested in. If she posts a story of going on a hike, you could send a message; ‘I see you enjoy hiking, I know a perfect trail we could try out’.

This will also show her you’ve taken an interest in what she enjoys.

2. Don’t Wait

There’s always been this misconstrued idea that you need to wait days before you can message a girl. The content of your text is so much more important than how long you’ve waited before sending her a message.

Let’s say you’ve had a bit of banter over Instagram with the girl you want to ask on a date, and now you’ve waited three days before sending her a message.

If the content of your text is not great, she would have forgotten about all the great things about you, and just be reminded that you’re just like every other guy who’s DM’d her.

So, if there’s a good vibe between yourselves, send her a fun message asking her out on a date.

Tip, In your text, start with her name.

3. Use Assumption

Instead of asking her the question; ‘Do you want to go to….’, assumption is a great way to ‘ask’ a girl out on a date with you.

Women love assertiveness and confidence in a guy. Yes, assuming that she will want to go out on a date with you can be risky, but more often than not, if there’s already attraction built up between you two, a decline would be based on logistics (eg; she’s busy at the time) rather than disinterest.

The good thing about asking a girl out on a date on Instagram is that you should already know what her likes and interests are, so you can already assume the right activity to take her on.

This will also stop her from having to think about what to say, or how to react which is a key point in establishing an attraction towards yourself.


With these three simple steps, along with the foundation of how to show a girl you like them, and  how to DM a girl on Instagram, you should now know how to ask a girl on a date on Instagram without any setbacks.

If you’ve got yourself a date with the girl you’re interested in over Instagram, and you’re now concerned about what you should talk about, we already have this guide published for you.

(Quiz Question; how many photos are posted on Instagram on a daily basis?). 

It’s important to remember when you’re initiating conversation over Instagram, that you refrain from going into small talk. This is the standard ‘How are you’, ‘What are you up to’ questions.

If you have any feedback or questions, leave us a comment in the box below. Include the answer to the quiz question if you know it.

How To Ask a Girl Out On A Date On Instagram: 3 Easy Steps

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