If you are wondering to yourself, is it ok for my boyfriend to hug another girl, you need to take into account what the relationship is between him and the girl.
Is she a close friend of his? Has he only just met her?
It’s quite normal to hug someone upon meeting or departing, and should not be taken out of context. Women are more prone to instigate hugs because they are naturally more affectionate then males, so your boyfriend could just be reciprocating the action.
There will be additional actions involved when a hug could be considered as flirting. An example of this is arm placement. If your boyfriend’s arms are placed under the armpits during the hug, with his hands on her upper back, you can interpret this as a friendly hug.
We have created this article in which we will answer the question is it ok for your boyfriend to hug another girl, by providing you with signs that can show the hug may contain a mutual feeling of attraction between your boyfriend, and the woman in question.
Is it OK for my boyfriend to hug another girl?
The short answer is YES. It is okay for your boyfriend to hug another girl. If she’s a close friend of his (and you), there shouldn’t be any concern. A hug is a physical act to display a greeting and can represent only that. You should only question if it’s okay for your boyfriend to hug another girl if his intention has an underlying agenda.
It may just be a platonic friendship between the girl and your boyfriend, and all he’s doing is saying hello or goodbye.
Women are naturally more prone to initiate hugs. Studies show this is because females are genetically conditioned to be more affectionate than males, and crave physical touch from other individuals.
With this in mind, your boyfriend could just be reciprocating a hug that he did not originally instigate to be polite.
When should you take your boyfriend hugging another girl as a warning sign?
Let’s look at the situations that may make it not okay for your boyfriend to hug another girl;
1. There’s history
If your boyfriend has a history with the girl he’s hugging there could be some unresolved feelings between them.
This is not to say your boyfriend has romantic feelings for someone else while he’s with you, but if the girl still has emotions towards him (maybe he broke up with her), it may be a good idea for him to stay away from a hug.
2. The hug lingers
Some psychologists have predicted that a standard hug should last between five to ten seconds. If an embrace lasts longer than this, the hormone Oxytocin is released which is known as the feel-good hormone.
This will initialise a stronger connection between two people.
So, if your boyfriend is purposefully lingering with his hugs, you may want to ask him about his feelings towards her, as this could be a sign there may be interest there.
3. The hug is romantic
How would you know if a hug is romantic?
When you hug your boyfriend, pretty much all of your body should touch, from the upper body down to the pelvis, but with a friend, a hug should involve only the upper body.
Here’s what we mean;
- Only the upper body touches – This can be interpreted as a ‘neutral’ hug with no form of relationship between two individuals
- Upper body and chest – More of a friendly hug. Two people will have some sort of connection
- The upper body, chest and pelvis -When you include the pelvis, this is a sign that there could be a romantic attraction.
Take a look the next time your boyfriend hugs a girl and see how close the contact is.
4. He talks about her a lot
Does your boyfriend frequently talk about the girl with you? If he is, there is a possibility that she is on his mind.
However, this could also just show that he’s comfortable speaking to you about anything and anyone. If this is bringing you any doubt, perhaps bring it up in a neutral conversation and ask him.
How to tell if a hug is romantic
You can tell if a hug is romantic by how close your bodies touch during the embrace. If you involve the pelvis, this is a sign that the hug may contain a romantic interest between two people. A friendship hug should only involve a person’s upper body and chest.
Besides body contact, there are a few other ways you can tell if a hug is romantic;
1. The direction of the hug
If your boyfriend is hugging a girl other than yourself from behind, this could be a sign that the hug is not just a friendly one.
A friendly hug is either a standard front-facing hug with upper-body contact or from the side of your body.
(Did you know, It is recommended that you should have at least eight hugs a day. It is the estimate to help make a person feel happier, and experience a better relationship. This amount will allow your body to produce enough Oxytocin to make a difference in your overall mood).
2. How long does the hug last?
A hug lasting longer than ten seconds can be perceived as having affection involved.
If your boyfriend lingers during the hug and after, there could be some form of chemistry, and he could potentially like the girl he’s hugging.
3. The timing
Hugs are generally a physical greeting. A ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’ hug is pretty standard, and should not need to be scrutinized.
It won’t be normal if your boyfriend randomly hugs a girl in a group setting that’s not you.
4. Hand placement
Think about when your boyfriend hugs you. When there’s romance involved, a person will place their hands lower down your back, or around your waist.
In a friendly embrace, the hands will normally stay on the upper back.
If your boyfriend is placing his hands further down a girl’s back, he could be into her.
How affectionate is your boyfriend? One thing to consider is this personality trait of the person you’re questioning.
To some, a hug will have no underlying meaning, and to others, this form of embrace can mean so much more.
Is hugging considered flirting?
Hugging is not considered flirting if it’s with a person with whom you have no romantic attraction with. If however, there is interest involved with the person you’re hugging, it won’t just be a standard hug that will confirm you’re flirting. There will undoubtedly be additional mannerisms during and after a hug.
What are these mannerisms?
1. Eye contact
If you hold eye contact after a hug (and before), this can be a sign of flirting. Especially if the hug has lasted longer than the usual five to ten seconds, there will be Oxytocin released, making both people feel good.
2. Added pressure
A quick squeeze in a hug is quite normal. This is a brief display of affection and can be used quite often, especially in an embrace during a negative situation.
It’s only when the whole hug has added pressure, squeezing each other together with little or no space in between.
3. Hand motions
If a guy (or girl) is rubbing your back when they’re hugging you, this is considered to display more affection than a pat.
During a hug, if someone is rubbing up and down your back, they could be showing you that they’re attracted to you.
Humans crave touch, and when we’re attracted to someone of the opposite sex, we are naturally drawn to them. Because touch will release the Oxytocin hormone, we have an instinctive desire to strengthen our bond with that specific person.
Overall, hugging has many added benefits.
Is hugging another girl cheating?
No, hugging another girl is not considered cheating. A hug is an informal way to either greet another person or provide comfort in an emotional situation. If you have a relationship with another individual, a hug is a sign of affection. This human act naturally strengthens a bond between two individuals.
You can consider a hug as a sign of romantic interest, dependant on how your boyfriend conducts the hug. If the interactions between the two people have already broken monogamy, but a hug in itself is not cheating.
If you are concerned your boyfriend is cheating, you should communicate with him. You won’t be able tell if he is cheating just by if he hugs another girl. There will be additional factors in this matter that you would need to consider.
For any gut feeling you may have, it would be best to voice your concerns with your significant other to ensure there is no misinterpretation, insecurities or doubt.
FAQ
How do you politely refuse a hug?
If you don’t want to hug someone, and they initiate one, you can politely decline by saying you just don’t like to hug. You won’t need to explain yourself if this is one of your boundaries for your own personal space.
Is it appropriate to hug your boss?
The general rule would be to not attempt a hug with your boss. Unless you have a close relationship with them, To hug your boss can be deemed as inappropriate. This would stand for any work colleague in management.
How long is an appropriate hug?
An appropriate hug estimates to last between five and ten seconds. A longer hug will be more pleasurable than a quick one, however, how long your hug is will depend on the dynamic between you and the other individual.
Conclusion
With this article, we hope we were able to answer your question on is it okay if your boyfriend hugs another girl, and that you are more aware of what the situation may be between him and the woman.
If you still fee uncomfortable with your boyfriend hugging other girls, we would suggest you talk to him about it so he can understand your feelings and act accordingly.
Keep in mind, to hug someone is a natural human action upon greetings. It also helps you to build bonds with people who are important to you, and can help calm a person down in emotional circumstances due to the feel good hormone that gets released.
(Quiz Question; what is the recommended number of hugs a person should have in a day?).
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