Have you ever wondered how some men appear effortlessly smooth around women? They ooze smooth. It seems to come so naturally to them that it can make the rest of us feel envious.
However, it may surprise you to learn that being smooth when in the company of the fairer sex is not necessarily an inborn characteristic. If you want to be smooth but don’t feel like you are, it is actually something that you can learn.
In this article, we’ll take a closer look at how you can become smooth around women, and be the guy you’ve always wanted to be while still staying true to who you are as an individual.
What does it mean to be smooth with the ladies?
Being smooth with women essentially means that women enjoy your company. You attract them and charm them. They feel happy and comfortable in your presence. All this can lead to them wanting to pursue more with you. Even if women don’t want to admit it, a smooth man’s level of confidence and charisma is often the most attractive thing about them.
We’ve all seen Hollywood movies. The James Bond type of guy who swoops in and effortlessly woos the leading lady with his wit and charm. He smiles and makes her laugh. Women melt in his company and fall to his feet.
(Did you know; 40% of men feel uncomfortable dating a woman for the first time. It’s not only women who get the nerves!).
Most guys would love to have that easy manner with women and have them come flocking. For most, however, it’s just not that simple.
What makes someone smooth?
If a guy is smooth around women, he will naturally be charming. Talking to girls will come easily, and he will be able to effortlessly create banter with those around him. This is all to do with the right mindset and being in control of yourself. A smooth guy will have an aura about him that will ooze confidence and ease in any situation.
Once a guy can adopt this type of mindset, he will be able to stay steady whenever he’s around women, and speak to them without worrying what the outcome may be.
Being smooth comes down to confidence and self-awareness. Naturally, smooth men usually have high levels of self-worth. Ultimately, if you’re confident, you’re happy with they way that you are. Merriam-Webster defines self-worth as:
“a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect.”
A smooth man realises his strengths and qualities. This is then reflected in his level of confidence. It is this confidence and knowledge that you are a good person that leads to someone being naturally smooth around the ladies.
A man who’s not smooth will not be in control of his emotions. He may over react, get a bit too excited or become anxious when he’s around women.
According to Paired Life, confidence is the number one characteristic that makes a man attractive to women. If you’re reading this, the chances are that confidence is something that you struggle with. Surprisingly, though, confidence can be faked. If you’re not feeling it, then fake it till you make it!
How do I fake confidence around women?
Faking confidence to be smooth around women is essential. Let’s have a look at some important factors that can help you fake it if you don’t feel it;
1. Stand tall and straighten up your back
You know, like a superhero would. Take that ‘Power Pose’. Research at Harvard showed that taking a ‘power pose’ had an increased tolerance of risk and enhanced power feelings.
In other words, taking such a stance can give you elevated feelings of confidence. Take up the space. You’re not just faking it, you’re feeling it.
2. Eye contact
Don’t shy away from it. To hold eye-contact is a great way to build up the attraction between you and your significant other. If feelings of awkwardness start to appear, don’t immediately look away. Stay with it a while.
Equally, though, don’t turn it into a staring contest. Know to break away at a natural pause in the conversation.
3. Speak up
If you’re usually as quiet as a mouse when you speak, turn up the volume a notch.
Be sure to not shout. It could come across as a little over-enthusiastic or even aggressive, neither of which is smooth!
Smooth men often show off those pearly whites! Smiling gives you that air of confidence that shows you’re happy where you’re at.
When a person smiles, they’ll come across as more friendly, and what better way to make a woman feel comfortable and at ease with you.
These tips to come across as confident around women are all physicality’s. Real confidence involves not needing constant approval from those around you to help your self-worth. A confident guy won’t fear failure, which is why they can approach women without the fear of rejection.
How can I get smooth around girls?
If you want to actively work on becoming smooth around women, as cliche as it is, you need to first work on yourself. This will enable you to become more grounded. To help with this, meditation is a great way to assist you in becoming more mindful and present. Stoicism is another way in which you can help gain the smooth factor.
Stoic behaviour is when a person does not allow himself to become affected by emotions in certain situations or circumstances.
It’s understanding that it’s not what has occurred that’s bothered us, but how we feel about it. A quote from Epictetus states; ‘It’s not things that upset us, it’s our judgement about things’.
Once you have this mindset, you’ll be able to approach a woman with logic and control because you’ll know that nothing bad can really happen from the situation.
This will help you to become unreactive and unphased because you will be control in yourself.
To better understand stoicism, you can check out this article by Daily Stoic.
What are the phases to become smooth around women?
To be smooth around women, there are three phases that you’ll need to go through;
Phase 1. Painful period
This period is when you’ve tried to be smooth around women before, but it does not go well. You’ll come across as though you’re trying too hard. During this phase, you’ll probably receive quite a bit of rejection from ladies.
Because of this, guys will generally give up because their ego has taken a hit, however, this is when you should keep trying.
Phase 2. Momentary smoothness
You’ve persevered through learning how to be smooth in phase one, and you’ve gained some experience. Great! Now, you should find that you’ll have moments of smoothness with women.
This should give you the confidence to keep growing, which will bring you into phase three.
Phase 3. You are smooth
Once you get into this period, you will be smooth through any interaction with a woman. You’ll naturally be in control of yourself, without having to fake confidence.
Now, you won’t let your emotions get the better of you. When you speak to women, you’ll stay cool, calm and collected. Keeping eye contact will no longer be intimidating. Women will pick up on this, and instantly be attracted to you.
How can I get better at talking to women?
When talking to women, all the above factors come into play, especially your confidence. However, with conversation, the key is in the listening. Keep eye contact and relax. Be open and sincere, sensitive and empathetic. Remember the little things in the conversation.
This will show that you’ve been listening. This can be anything from her childhood pet dog’s name to how she likes her coffee.
Did you know, women like to talk to their partner because it makes them feel like their bonding? You won’t even have to speak about anything specific!
Above all, the conversation should be respectful. Sure, you can gently tease, and include playful banter, but pay attention to how it’s received. Does she want you to tease her?
Being smooth around women is something that most men would love to be. For some, it comes naturally. They ooze charm, wit and confidence. For others, though, it needs a bit of thought and effort.
However, every man can create a smooth vibe following our advice. Soon, you’ll be going in for that kiss with confidence! Don’t worry if you feel like you’re not a good kisser. We have an article for that too.
Remember, a woman isn’t attracted to a man that comes across as too needy. If you’re autonomous, and not need to rely on a lady to make you feel good, you’ll have no issue attracting women.
(Quiz Question; what percentage of men are uncomfortable dating a woman for the first time?). Drop us your verdict in the reply box underneath.