Preparing for the first date can leave you wondering whether or not you should bring your date a gift. Of course, we want our companion to like us, however, using a present as a way to gain their approval is not the best method, and can ultimately have a reverse effect.
If gift giving is part of your values and you genuinely feel it’s something you’d like to do, then keeping the item small and authentic is okay. To keep it casual and not extravagant, you can supply them with a token that resonates with the activity of your date.
In this article, we’ll delve further into when you should bring your date a gift, as well as when you shouldn’t. We’ll also expand on what type of gifts are better suited for a date so you can both experience a positive reaction, and have a successful interaction.
Should I bring my date a gift?
It’s okay to present your date with a small token of value and affection as long as it’s a genuine, authentic gesture that falls in line with your own core values. As long as the gift is small, and simply to make her smile, arriving with a present for your date is okay.
You can bring a trivial gift that resonates with a previous conversation. This is a distinctive way to let your date know that you’ve taken an interest in them, and that you’ve paid attention to what’s been said.
If you provide your partner with an item that is to be used specifically for the occasion, this is a subtle way to let them know you’ve put some thought into them and the date.
These two ideas blatantly show that your intentions are pure. In which case, you should bring your date a gift. You should not offer your date an emblem if you have a hidden agenda, or expecting something in return.
On one of our trusted forums, GirlsAskGuys, we created a poll to find out how women feel when a guy brings them a gift on the first date.
Here’s what we found;
- 20% said he’s trying too hard
- 60% think it’s sweet and show’s he’s making an effort
- 20% confirmed it depends what the gift is
Some of the opinions were;
- ‘I think it’s cute as long as the gift is nothing to fancy or meaningful. Some flowers, a mug or anything trivial like cheese or something would be cute.’ – Anonymous, age 25-29
- ‘It can be cute.’ – Emily_925, age 22
From these results, we can conclude that it is okay to accompany your date with an offering that is not excessive or fanciful.
When should I not bring my date a gift?
Do not bring a gift if you’re using it as a way to improve the chances of your date liking you. This is known as ‘supplication’ and can have the opposite effect. When a person feels the need to supplicate, it can be a sign that they’re insecure because they perceive themselves to be inadequate. They will feel the need to present a gift to appear more valuable.
There are four main mindsets which might pull you into thinking you need to bring your date a gift. These include;
- You want attention
- She’ll think you’re nice
- You think it’s what she wants
- You expect something in return
(Did you know; saying your date’s name at least twice can result in a better connection. Verbalising a name will display attentiveness).
With these perspectives, you may come across as though you’re trying to buy her affection while being insincere. This can leave a negative impression for your date, and may result in them not wanting to pursue you any further.
Sometimes, bringing a gift on a date can put pressure on your companion. They might assume there’s an obligation to connect with you, and can ultimately make the interaction feel forced.
What should I gift on a date?
A small, authentic representation of how you feel is a good token to give on a date. Gift something that resonates with your partner, or the occasion. Stay away from extravagant and arbitrary presents that have no meaning behind it.
Instead of trying to impress your date with an expensive item, you should bring something that will connect with them. This could be a representation of something they’ve already told you.
A few examples of the right gift to bring on a date are;
- Their favourite chocolate or sweet
To take it further, if the date involves going to watch a movie, this token will resonate with the occasion too.
- A depiction of something they’ve told you before
Perhaps your companion told you about their favourite country, historical monument or blossoms. Giving them a present like a magnet, snowdome or bunch of flowers that represents their fondness is an indistinct way to display your interest.
- An item for the occasion
Let’s say you’ve planned snorkeling as the activity for your date. Bringing them a pair of goggles is a cute and simple gesture without being over the top.
What happens when a person receives a gift?
When a person gets given a gift they really like, their brain will release the chemical Oxytocin. This neurotransmitter is responsible for generating deeper connections between people, and confirming relationships. This will signify to your date that you care and understand them, which will cause them to have optimistic feelings towards you.
However, if you purchase an item that is impersonal, it can cause the receiver to be despondent. Their oxytocin levels will be much lower, and they may feel as though you just don’t care, or you did not give the token much thought.
Gift giving will not only affect your date, but you as well. As per Redballoon, studies have found that our brains are hooked up in such a way to gain pleasure when we bestow someone with a present. The look of satisfaction on your date’s face when you hand them a token will cause the chemical endorphins to be released.
Endorphins is known as the ‘feel good’ hormone because it makes us feel pleasure and joy. We experience the same chemical when we exercise or become romantically involved with someone.
As long as you’ve put some thought into the present for your date, and you’re doing it because it falls in line with your own beliefs, you should bring a gift. It will initialize a positive response in your date and hopefully, help build on the connection!
Is it weird to give someone a gift on the first date?
It’s not weird to give a gift on the first meet as long as resonates with your values, and you’re not expecting anything in return. If you assume bringing a present for your companion will make them like you more, or you think it’s what they want, it might create an uncomfortable atmosphere.
How long should a first date last?
A first date should last for a couple of hours. When you first interact, both individuals will be able to gauge whether or not there’s interest to go on a second date. As per Cosmopolitan, research has shown that in Britain, a person will take roughly eleven and a half minutes to decide their companion has potential for things to progress.
Knowing if you should bring your date a gift can be a rather tricky one to decipher. You don’t want to come across as though you’re trying too hard, or that you’re looking for approval. If your motivation is because you want her to like you, or you think it’s what you need to do, then it may be in your best interest to leave the present at home.
If, however, it’s a genuine act, and it falls in line with your core values, then by all means, give your date a gift! Keep in mind to not go over the top. A small, authentic token is all that’s needed to display your affection, and let them know you’ve taken an interest.
(Quiz Question; how many times should you say your companions name during a date?). Send us your answer in the comments box below. Remember to include any feedback you might have for us.