Successfully socialising in your forties can sometimes be deemed as almost non-existent. There are misconstrued ideas that dating in your forties should be approached differently. You’re no longer a twenty-something-year-old with no responsibilities other than what nightclub you’re going to. Although you may be more mature, with life experience, are you too old to date at 40?
Dating in your forties can be very different compared to your twenties and thirties. You might have more responsibilities to take into account, and it may be a little more difficult if you’ve got kids in the picture. However, courting in this age bracket can be extremely exuberant if you’ve got the right attitude.
In this post, we’ll delve into whether or not you are too old to date at 40. We’ll expand on how different it is, but also, how advantageous it can be for your love life. Enjoy!
Am I too old to date at 40?
Although dating in your forties will consist of completely different views, motivations and challenges as opposed to meeting people in your twenties or thirties, it’s still an age where being active on the dating scene is common and successful. Statistics from U.S Bureau of Labor advised that almost 50% of individuals in their 40’s are single and still mingling, with 25% of the online dating app Match.com’s users being between the ages of fifty and fifty-five.
Nobody is too old to seek romance. Dating in your forties will come with many added benefits, for both men and women that you may not experience in your thirties or even late twenties.
Benefits to dating in your forties
1. You know what it is you’re looking for
One of the perks of dating in your forties is that pretty much everyone knows what they want, and what they’re looking for. You probably won’t be left feeling confused about whether your date is pursuing a long-term relationship or not.
In your twenty’s commitment is less of a priority for you. As soon as you hit your thirty’s, your perspective’s change, and it starts to become the main objective for why you want to connect with someone.
This makes dating that much easier. You can meet like minded individuals without second guessing if they have a hidden agenda.
2. You’re experienced
Not only in relationships but life in general, you’re going to be experienced. You would have gone through the ups and downs of dating. You will know what it is that you want and don’t want in a partner.
We often shy away from having a magnitude of short lived relationships in our younger years, however, this is how we learn what our preferences are, and what we deem as Red flags in a person.
Not only this, you would have established yourself in your career, and been through the job hopping phase in your twenties or even thirties.
All of this means that the majority of individuals in this age bracket have built their life up. Emotionally, financially and spiritually. You’ll be on your own two feet, and (hopefully) not have to rely on somebody else.
3. You’re confident and more self aware
We’d be lying if we said everyone in their twenties and even thirties were 100% confident and completely self aware. Through your twenties, you’re probably doing more self indulging than anything else. In your thirties, however, you start to shift your focus on the things you need.
When we get older, we tend to stop worrying about what other people think of us. We begin to look inward rather than outward.
As per Red Online, studies haves have shown that confidence does in fact improve with age. A survey was done that confirmed a mere 4% of younger British adults were self-assured. And, 22% of people in and around their fifties.
Is dating harder in your 40’s?
Most people assume dating is harder in your forties, purely because you’re no longer actively going to clubs, bars and as many social scenes as you did back in your twenties and early thirties. Besides this, you’re supposedly more settled in your routine’s, which could create some conflict when you’re trying to arrange a date.
Other factors that deem dating in your forties difficult include;
1. Children are in the picture
Meeting someone that has kids with their previous partner is more common in this age group. Children aren’t necessarily an issue when it comes to dating, however, they can impact a persons dating life. At this age, your offspring are probably still living at home.
Once things start getting more serious for a couple, the pressure of introducing your new partner to your children can be a daunting experience. There’s always the possibility that there could be a rift between the two.
A study by Smart Stepfamilies confirmed that in the United States alone, 40% of families consist of at least one child from a former marriage or relationship.
2. Where can you meet other singles your age?
In your forties, places to meet other people can be somewhat limited. Back in your twenties, and even thirties it was more common to meet someone through a mutual friend, with 39% of individuals saying they met their partner through someone they both knew.
Of course, bars are still a good place to meet other singles, however, it’s less common for adults over thirty to make use of this environment. Along with the night club scene.
3. You have more responsibilities
There’ll be a lot more juggling priorities and responsibilities when you date in your forties. Between your career, family, financials and social life, making the time to meet up with multiple different ladies (or men) could be a bit more stressful compared to in your younger days.
Is it worth dating in your 40’s?
To date in your forties can be an extremely thrilling experience. Hopefully, you’ve reached a point in your life where you’re independent. You don’t need to rely on anybody else for support. Because of this, you should both be able to live your own lives without needing to depend on one another.
As per Gwenda Schlundt Bodien, the level of autonomy is a strong indicator of how successful and satisfying your relationship can be.
Individuals who can be romantically involved and still live their own life are less defensive, and more understanding to their significant other’s views.
(Did you know; 63% of people will remarry between the ages of 45-54).
While dating in your forties, you will also be less likely to be driven by your ego. (Egoism is when a person will act purely for their own self-interest). Because of this, you’ll be more real and genuine with your partner, which will help you build a deeper connection.
Not only this, you’ll be more confident, know what you want, and potentially no longer be in the mindset for only wanting to mess about.
How to date effectively in your 40’s
Online dating apps are the most effective way to date in your forties. Besides alleviating the pressure of having to find social arenas that don’t only consist of the younger generations, it gives you the option to find profiles that are younger than your own. An article published on BBC confirmed that in Western areas, 8% of heterosexual relationships have a ten year age gap.
A few of the most popular dating apps for forty plus are;
Another effective way to date in your forties is to join clubs that fall in line with your hobbies and interests. This will give you the opportunity to meet like-minded individuals.
When you meet single women (and men) in your forties, you may come across a vast range of expectations. Some might be looking for a casual relationship, a friend or to settle down. With this in mind, it’s important to be clear with what it is you’re looking for in the dating world. This will help you scour through the people that do not match your agenda.
Once you’ve hit forty, you would have gone though many different life experiences, which can help improve your natural instinct and gut feeling towards other people. To be effective in the dating pool, it’s important to listen to your gut and not ignore any potential warning signs in the ‘hope’ that it will change.
FAQ
How long to date before marriage in your 40’s?
Being in your forties does mean you need to adhere to a different timeline, or take into account a change of rules when it comes to how long a couple should date for. Of course, there’s the recommended six months mark before making any proposal decisions.
Is it too late to meet someone at 40?
No, it’s not too late to meet someone at forty. Just like in your twenties and thirties, you need to be pro-active with socialising. Whether it’s joining a club of your interest, or going out with your friends to a social event, there are many different ways in which you can meet someone at forty, and older.
Conclusion
Being single in your forties can sometimes be uncomfortable. Whether you’re recently divorced, or just gotten out of a long-term relationship, the mere thought of going back into the dating world can be daunting and frightening.
However, this does not need to be the case! Dating in your forties should be exciting and a thrilling adventure to look forward to. You’ll be more confident, have more life experience, and know exactly what it is you’re looking for.
Although you may have more responsibilities compared to when you were mingling in your twenties or thirties, adults in the same age-bracket will be a lot more understanding. Besides, who said you have to date someone your own age!
(Quiz Question, what percentage of new couples will remarry in their mid forties?). Let us know what you think by submitting your answer in the box below.