A woman who has low self-esteem will continuously compare herself to others, and obsess over the flaws that she sees when she looks in the mirror. Have you noticed your partner’s fixation on certain physical attributes that she wants to change about herself? Does this make you question why does your girlfriend hate the way she looks?
Nobody, men or women views themselves the way other people do. Our eyes are automatically drawn to our imperfections, whereas strangers will notice our good qualities. So, you might be wondering why your girlfriend doesn’t like the way she looks. This comes from an internal emotional judgement that is on a conscious and sub-conscious level
In this article we’ll delve further into the reasons behind why does your girlfriend hate the way she looks. We’ll also get into what she can do to help improve her insecurities, and how you can have a positive influence on her well-being.
Why does my girlfriend hate the way she looks?
Your girlfriend may hate the way she looks if she struggles with body dysmorphia. BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) is a mental health condition where a person will excessively worry about the flaws they see when they look at themselves. More often then not, someone with BDD will see themselves entirely different than how those around them do.
This is because they will frequently have intrusive thoughts about the way they look, and how they think other sees them. If your girlfriend has BDD she will believe she has certain imperfections that may not even be present.
Body dysmorphia does not only affect women. Although 60% of girls will have BDD, 40% of men can also suffer from it.
If your girlfriend has BDD, she may not necessarily hate the way her body looks. She could obsess over a certain facial feature, how her skin looks or the amount of muscle her body has.
(Did you know; muscle dysmorphia is a subclass of BDD and is more common in males. It’s the obsession of how muscular your physique is, and what percentage of body fat you have).
How do you develop body dysmorphia?
If your girlfriend was constantly bullied at a younger age about the way she looks, this would invoke negative emotions towards the way she sees herself that could stay with her into her adult life. Being teased can cause an individual to feel inadequate or shame because of the way they look.
Another reason why someone could have BDD is if they have an OCD type of personality that requires constant perfection. This type of behaviour will cause a person’s thoughts to be constantly preoccupied on something that is not in order, or needs to be fixed.
If your girlfriend has OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) she may fixate on an imperfection she sees on herself.
Sometimes, body dysmorphia can be passed down from a parent who already has BDD or OCD. An individual who already suffers from anxiety or depression may also be prone to body dysmorphia.
Social media plays a big part in how women and men judge themselves. Instagram is full of influencers whom we tend to compare ourselves with. They post content that can sometimes cause us to question our own self-worth, and how our aesthetics ‘should’ look.
We tend to forget that what we see on online is not necessarily ‘real’. You can edit your photos, or stand at a certain angle to manipulate the perfect picture.
Can you get rid of body dysmorphia?
You won’t be able to get rid of BDD completely, however, with consistent cognitive therapy, you’ll be able to minimise the effects that it has on a person’s day to day behaviour. Medication that is prescribed to people with anxiety, depression or OCD can be used to help someone who suffers with body dysmorphia.
Staying active is a great way to assist with anxiety and depression. Exercise will also give a person with BDD a sense of control. This is because they will be working-out to help improve how they feel about their physical appearance.
Because we judge ourselves based on how other people interact and respond to us, surrounding yourself amongst people who uplift you and are positive is a another way which can help squash the negative emotions you might feel about yourself.
Body dysmorphic behaviour is a more serious case why your girlfriend may hate the way she looks. Besides this, lack of confidence and insecurity are the two top reasons behind why a person will look at themselves and not like what they see.
Can meditation help my girlfriend’s insecurities?
Meditation is a great act of self-care that can help your girlfriend deal with her insecurities. Meditating helps you become more present in the moment, and steers your thoughts in a way that will calm your mind. Practising this exercise consistently will help a person control feelings of anxiety as well as improve ones self awareness.
If you want to help your girlfriend, you can promote meditation. Just ten minutes a day will have a positive impact on your partner, and how she starts to feel about herself.
Daily meditation will result in a change in how someone can control their emotions. It helps us realise that we are not our thoughts, and that we can have control on how and what we think. This will help your girlfriend let go of the negative thoughts that have arisen.
There are many different breathwork exercises that will assist a person in feeling more grounded.
What to do if your girlfriend is insecure about her looks?
If your girlfriend does not like the way she looks because she’s insecure and lacks confidence, unfortunately, as much as we’re sure you’d like to, this is not something that you’ll be able to fix. The way we see ourselves is internal. Our self-image is a conscious and sub-conscious judgement that we make which we establish through our own emotions.
It’s important to realise that it’s not your responsibility to make your girlfriend love the way she looks. You could tell her everyday how wonderful and beautiful she is, but if she’s constantly comparing herself to others, or feel inadequate, your positive affirmations won’t resonate with her.
As her partner, you can compliment her and let her know how much you value her. Chances are, if she’s insecure about herself, this will project onto your relationship, and has the potential to cause her to have a lack of confidence in you.
Instead of trying to change how she thinks about herself, because, let’s face it, it won’t be easy, you can positively influence her.
What do we mean by this? Well, lead by example! Ask her to go to the gym with you for a workout routine, and stay consistent with it. This will benefit the both of you, and help her feel good about herself.
Be conscious of how you judge others around her. If she notices that you make negative comments, she may take it personally. Instead, be uplifting around her and stick to positive affirmations.
Although there’s nothing wrong with you liking another girls picture on social media, be mindful that this could impetrate feelings of insecurity and worry in your girlfriend.
Try and stick to eating healthy. Research has found that a healthy diet not only improves your physical health, but your mental health too.
You may feel helpless when it comes to how your girlfriend feels about herself, but there are indirect ways in which you can support her to help steer her to feel better, and ultimately, improve her self-esteem and confidence.
FAQ
What do you say when a girl hates her body?
If your girlfriend hates the way she looks, you can help her to rationalise her thoughts by talking to her about why she feels the way she does. Positive affirmations will not necessarily stop her from having negative emotions but it will help her understand how you and others sees her.
How does negative body image affect relationships?
When your girlfriend has a negative body image, this can cause her to feel insecure. Because of this, she may start to think that she’s not good enough for you. With this, she may end worrying that you will leave her for someone that’s ‘more attractive’. This could result in her to become possessive.
Conclusion
If your girlfriend hates the way she looks, it’s important to remember that this is something you won’t be able to fix for her. A negative view of oneself will stem from a lack of confidence and self-esteem. Your partner will need to make a conscious decision to work on herself in order to help improve her mindset.
This can be done through consistent meditation and making a conscious decision to live a healthy lifestyle. You can, of course support her, and positively reinforce this through going to the gym together, eating healthy and minimising social media.
In more serious cases, your girlfriend not liking the way she looks can have the potential to have a negative effect on your relationship. If you feel like this is the case, it’s important that you address this with her. Be mindful to not come across as accusatory. Be sure to show her that you support her and love her for who she is.
(Quiz Question; what is a subclass on body dysmorphic disorder?). Sends us your thoughts in the reply box below.