Are you constantly being showered with gifts, or do you only ever meet up with your significant other in public settings, with hardly any alone time? If this sounds very similar to your current relationship, you may be sitting on the fence with the question; why does my boyfriend treat me like a trophy.
The general portrayal of a trophy girlfriend is when an older man dates a younger woman just to boost his social status, and improve his ego. However, this is not always the case. Younger generation couples can also use their relationship as a means to increase their social media fame. Eg; being seen with a well known Instagram influencer.
In this article, we’ll delve into why does your boyfriend treat you like a trophy, and what this means for your relationship. We’ll also get into what the signs are so you can properly determine whether or not you and your significant other are on the same page in your relationship.
What is a trophy girlfriend?
A woman will be considered a ‘trophy’ girlfriend if their boyfriend uses them as a symbol for their social status. The majority of the time, an older gentleman will date someone younger to help improve his value amongst his friends and peers. Instead of dating somebody for their personality, and how compatible they are with you, a trophy partner is merely there for their image.
In other words, a trophy girlfriend is there to help boost the ego of her partner. He may shower you with gifts, take you on lavish holidays, or provide you with ample amounts of attention. All this is to make you want to stay with him, so he can keep getting attention.
Of course, some relationships are based on a genuine connection regardless of the age gap. Zoosk, the online dating app completed a survey and found that 9% of users were more likely to message someone who was at least ten years older or younger.
They also found that 60% of men said they were attracted to younger women. 27% Prefer an age gap of five to nine years. In proportion to this, 56% of women said they’d prefer to date an older man. 30% opted for the five to nine years age gap.
Although these stats prove that not all large age gaps are for trophy status, there are still relationships where a woman may feel like her boyfriend is treating her like a trophy. Once you know what these signs are, you can make a conscious decision on whether or not you want to stay open to the dynamic of your partnership.
How do I know my boyfriend is using me as a trophy?
Do you only see your boyfriend when it suits him, or when he makes the plan? A sign that you could be a trophy girlfriend is if your significant other is the one to always decide what you’re doing, and the majority of the plans will be with other people. Lack of quality time spent together may indicate that he wants you around only for social status.
Other signs that could confirm your boyfriend is using you as a trophy are;
1. You never speak about your future together
In a serious relationship, there are almost always chats about plans together. Whether it’s a holiday abroad, or when you’re thinking about moving in together.
If you never speak about a period longer than the present, your boyfriend may be stringing you along.
On average, couples will date for at least six months before they start bringing up the idea of moving in together.
2. He knows nothing about you
Your boyfriend won’t know anything about you because he has no desire to get to know you on a personal level. Of course, you would have spoken to him about your interests, he just wouldn’t have taken the time to listen.
3. He’s controlling
Do you feel like your boyfriend is always trying to control you? Does he comment on what you wear, or how you should dress?
If you’re a trophy girlfriend, you’re going to need to be up to his standard at all times.
4. Your boyfriend never wants to meet your friends or family
He may have introduced you to his friends circle extremely early in the relationship, but will always avoid meeting your mates.
Does he make excuses when you invite him to a family gathering? If you’re a trophy girlfriend, the relationship will be very one-sided.
Even when you’re around his friends, you might feel like he makes no effort to include you.
Why does my boyfriend treat me like a trophy?
Your boyfriend will treat you like a trophy because he wants to receive validation from his peers. Ultimately, he’ll use you to make him look good. In more serious cases, this could be a behaviour trait of someone that is a narcissist. An individual who has a narcissistic personality disorder will have an extreme desire to always receive admiration and attention from others.
They’ll be extremely superficial, which is why they’ll have a girlfriend purely for their image, and what it can do for them. You’ll be seen more like an object that he can use for his own personal gain.
We are not confirming your boyfriend has this type of personality, we are just advising that this could be one of the reasons why your boyfriend may treat you like a trophy.
(Did you know; In Western countries, about eight percent of married heterosexual couples have an age gap of ten years or more).
Does your boyfriend have fleeting friendships with multiple different people? With this type of personality, a person will have a difficult time establishing a genuine connection with other individuals.
If a man wants to have a trophy girlfriend, it’s to show you off to the people around him and to prove how successful he is. Not only in his career and life, but in relationships too.
Why does my boyfriend keep telling me what to wear?
If your boyfriend keeps telling you what to wear, this could be a sign that you’re a trophy girlfriend. He will objectify you by wanting to dress you up in a certain way that will make him look good when he’s seen out in public with you.
This can also be a Red flag that your boyfriend has controlling behaviour, or that he’s insecure in your relationship. If he’s telling you what you can’t wear when you go out without him, it could be because he’s worried you’re going to get attention from other men.
We all know how important self-image is in the celebrity world. Trophy partners are that much more common amongst the A-listers. So much so, that one woman got told by her former husband that her career was over the moment she dressed herself.
He, was known to give his ex-wife constant advice on what she should wear to events, how she should wear her make-up and even style her hair.
Sounds to us like he had his own personal doll, which is a serious sign of objectifying your partner as a trophy.
It’s important to note that women can treat their man like a trophy boyfriend. This is in no way gender specific.
What to do if my boyfriend treats me like a trophy?
If you feel like your boyfriend treats you like a trophy, you should bring up the future with him. Have a conversation with him. Does he avoid the question? Is he flippant in his response? This way, you’ll be able to gauge whether or not your boyfriend is serious about you, and the relationship.
Once you’ve spoken to him about your relationship, and he confirms he does not want to commit to you, you should think about ending the relationship. Of course, if you don’t want anything serious, and you’re happy to carry on in the current dynamic of your partnership, you can move forward without any changes.
Only if your values and expectations are different, should you re-evaluate what you want and if it’s worth staying with your boyfriend. Be firm with him, and if he shows signs that he does not respect and appreciate you for who you are, remove yourself from the situation-ship.
How do you know if your boyfriend views you as an object?
If your boyfriend gives you constant praises in front of his friends, and always spends time with you around other people, this could be a sign that he views you as an object to help improve his social status. Another sign is if he’s controlling, and never wants to spend quality time with you.
Can I wear what I want in a relationship?
You most certainly can wear what you want in a relationship. A healthy partnership will consist of two individuals who are able to make their own decisions, and live an autonomous life while joining forces with your better half. As soon as one person tries to have power over the other, the relationship can slowly start to become toxic.
Now that you know the reasons behind why your boyfriend might treat you like a trophy, you’ll be able to make your own decision on whether or not you want to stay or leave the relationship.
Before you jump to any conclusions, it may be a good idea to first have a chat with your significant other. He might just be head over heels for you, and his love language consists of showering you with gifts and affection.
If, however, you feel like your boyfriend’s intentions are not genuine, and your expectations for the relationship do not match, you might want to consider taking some time for yourself. Use the time apart to evaluate what it is you want.
(Quiz Question; What percentage of heterosexual married couples have an age gap of ten years or more?). Let us know your answer down below.