Have you been with your partner for a while, and you’re now starting to wonder why your boyfriend doesn’t post you on social media?
It’s important to take into account whether or not your partner is an active social media user. If he’s never seen the importance of uploading pictures on Instagram, he’s probably not going to suddenly change now that he’s in a relationship with you.
On the other hand, he might not want his followers to know that he’s seeing someone, in which case you might want to take this as a Red flag for your relationship.
In this article, we’ll delve into the reasons behind why your boyfriend doesn’t want to post you on social media, and what you can do to help you feel better about the situation.
Your boyfriend may never post you on social media if he’s hardly ever active on his accounts. Just because you’re frequently posting images and/or stories on Instagram or Facebook, does not mean your significant other enjoys doing the same. A person who hardly checks their media accounts, will more often than not, do some scrolling and not post.
Studies have found that women spend more time on social media than men, with an average of 5.5 hours a month as opposed to men who’ll visit their accounts for a total of 3.9 hours.
However, if your boyfriend is active on his phone, and frequently checks out his social media pages, he may not be posting you on his account for the following reasons;
1. He’s private
Although he may be active on Instagram, your boyfriend might prefer to keep his private life off of social media. Not everyone likes to publicise what’s going on.
This isn’t to say he doesn’t want anybody to know you’re in a relationship. It could just be that he doesn’t think it’s anybody else’s business.
(Did you know; on average, a social media user will have around seven active accounts, and spend roughly 142 minutes online every day).
2. He’s playing the field
Let’s hope this isn’t the case, but it can’t be factored out. In some unfortunate circumstances, a partner won’t want to post their boyfriend/girlfriend on their social media because they’re entertaining other people.
This is, however, more common in the early stages of dating, or a casual relationship dynamic.
3. He’s afraid of judgement
This isn’t to say he’s embarrassed to be seen with you. Perhaps you’ve only just recently become a couple, or you got into a relationship while one of you were still ending your previous relationship.
He might have family following his account that he’s not quite ready for them to know he’s in a relationship. Whatever the reason may be, it could have nothing to do with you.
4. He’s got avoidant attachment
Some people in a relationship will have an avoidant attachment style.
This means that they’ll purposefully avoid posting their relationship on social media and regularly disconnect from their partner because of fear.
Before you jump to any conclusions about why your boyfriend is not posting you on his social media, you need to take into consideration if your partner is an avid scroller or not. If he naturally does not post on his socials, he’s probably not going to change all of a sudden when he gets into a relationship.
Besides this, how does your boyfriend express his love? There are ample different ways for couples to display how they feel about each other.
If he’s constantly buying you gifts, or being affectionate, you shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not he uploads a pic of you two together.
Understand what his love language is. This should help you to put things in perspective.
If you’re still confused about why your boyfriend doesn’t post you on his social media, you might want to chat to him about it. Of course, this should be done without accusing him of neglecting you or not loving you enough.
Let him know how it makes you feel, and listen to what he has to say. He might have other stresses in his life that are taking up all his time, or, perhaps he just needs some time.
Whatever his feedback is, trust your gut. If you feel like he’s not sincere about it, this might be a warning sign that he’s not as into the relationship as you are, and may be seeing or flirting with other people.
Before you jump to conclusions, check out his social media account like Instagram. For example, is there any interaction between him and his exes on his posts? If you feel as though something is just not right, be confident enough to bring it up with your boyfriend.
It is okay to not post your relationship on social media. Have you ever heard the phrase; ‘a private life is a happy life’? Constantly sharing your personal information on social accounts can hurt a relationship. You’re handing over information about you and your partner to a large group of people.
On the other side of things, if you always post yourself, without your boyfriend or girlfriend, this can sometimes cause speculation from others and may be deemed as a troublesome relationship.
The less you post about your relationship, the less information your followers will have. This, in turn, will prevent anyone from interfering, and potentially creating conflict.
Although it’s not a bad thing to not post your relationship on social media, when you do decide to post a picture with your significant other, it helps to increase the feelings of intimacy and satisfaction. This provides validation for the relationship and makes your partner feel more secure.
However, be mindful that neither you or your partner become reliant on feeling good in the relationship only when a picture is posted on social media.
With these two points in mind, balance is key. If you post an excessive amount of relationship content, it can sometimes be a sign that couples are trying to hide a problematic relationship, whereas no posting at all could also be a cause for concern.
When should you make your relationship public?
Each relationship is different and will move at different paces depending on how much time a couple will spend together. After two months of dating is known to be the most general time frame for couples to make their relationship public. This is of course after they’ve had the exclusivity talk.
Different circumstances will have different outcomes. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, it may take you a lot longer to publicise who your partner is.
Of course, if you like the person you’re dating, and you’re seeing each other a few times every week, your relationship might become public within a couple of weeks.
This will also depend on how private you are, and what you like to post on social media. As long as you and your partner are on the same page within your relationship status, making it public does not need to be a priority.
FAQ
A lot of couples won’t post on social media because they prefer to live in the moment, spending time together. People who continuously post their relationship online may be looking for validation, or feel like they need to convince others that they’re in a happy relationship.
Social media can be toxic for relationships because it interferes with quality time spent with your partner, and decreases your attention. Continuous scrolling has also been known to cause an increase in irritation, which can be taken out on your partner.
Conclusion
Just because your boyfriend doesn’t post you on social media, it does not mean he’s ashamed or unsure of you. Of course, this can unfortunately be the case if he’s seeing multiple other women alongside yourself.
Before you start to question your relationship, consider your boyfriend’s standard social media antics. Is he infrequent on the apps, or is he a very private person? Chances are, he’s not thinking about Instagram and what to post next.
If your boyfriend not posting you on his accounts make you feel uncomfortable, have a conversation with him, and let him know how you feel. You may find you both have different views on the importance of uploading your relationship online.
(Quiz Question; what is the average number of social media accounts an active user will have?). Submit your answer with the comments box below.