Whether you’ve been friends with a guy for years, or only just started hanging out, there may come a time when you’re questioning the dynamic of your relationship. Is it strictly platonic, or does he want to be more than friends?
How can you tell if your friend wants to be more than just friends? If they’re not direct with how they feel, it could be because they don’t want to ruin the dynamic of the relationship, or, are scared of what the outcome may be.
There are subtle signs that you can pick up on that could indicate they like you more than a mate. In this article, we’ll expand on if he does want to be more than friends, and how you’ll be able to tell. We’ll also touch base on what you can do if he’s interested in you so you don’t have to worry about losing your friendship.
How can you tell if a man wants to be more than friends?
Your male friend may want to be more than friends with you if he displays signs of jealousy that would not occur in a standard, platonic relationship. Does he have a negative response every time you go on a date, or when you speak to him about other guys?
He may not be direct with his jealousy. If the tone of his voice or his attitude changes, this could be an indicator that he’s feeling slightly envious.
Other signs that will show if a man wants to be more than friends with you include;
1. He drops other plans for you
Has he dropped other plans with his mates to hang out with you? Guys love to chill with guys. So if he’s deliberate in cancelling plans he may have with them when you’ve called him up, it could be a sign that he wants to be more than just friends.
Does he initiate one-on-one time with you? Quality time will almost always supersede hanging out in a group.
2. He focuses on you in a group
If you’re not alone together, but in a group, your guy friend may focus all his attention on you.
A non-direct way would be asking for your opinion on things when you’re speaking all together or holding longer eye contact with you when you talk.
3. He always flirts with you
Before you think he’s flirting, if he’s a naturally charming guy, it may just be normal for him.
However, if you notice he’s only playful and flirts with you, he may have a little more interest in you than just as a friend.
Take note of his body language. How he hugs you, and who he faces when you’re in a group are all subtle signs that can show he’s into you.
Check out this guide to learn about what body language can tell you.
4. He chats to you for hours
We all need that person with whom we can vent all our troubles to. Is he that guy for you?
Whether you call him in the afternoon or close to midnight, he’ll always answer your calls and listen to you no matter what.
If he has a romantic interest in you, he may always reply to your texts, and not leave you waiting for a response.
5. He won’t speak to you about other women
A sure sign that you’re in the friend zone is if he feels comfortable speaking to you about his love interests and other women.
If he likes you, he won’t want to ruin any chance he may have, and for you to think he’s unavailable. Therefore, he probably won’t ever bring up other girls when he’s around you. If you bring up the topic, he may disregard it nonchalantly.
What to do if he wants to be more than friends?
First and foremost, you need to know how you feel about your friend. Can you see yourself moving past the friendzone and becoming a couple? Are you attracted to him in that way? Before you can have any conversation with him, understand what your emotions are towards him. This way, you’ll be able to conduct yourself appropriately without getting confused.
If he wants to be more than friends but you don’t, refrain from dating him because you feel bad about the situation. This will do more harm to your relationship than any good.
(Did you know; If you know what irritates your friend, you’re more likely to have a more stable relationship with them).
You will need to be open and honest with him when you have a conversation. Your friend will be feeling vulnerable, and probably a little embarrassed if you don’t reciprocate the feelings.
Allow him space whether he asks for it or not. This will give both of you time to reflect on the situation and not act on impulse.
Refrain from giving him any false hope if you know you won’t ever want to get into a relationship with him. This will ultimately save your friendship, and avoid any expectations in the future.
On a more positive note, if you like him too, don’t be afraid to let him know! Healthy, long-lasting relationships are often built on the foundation of friendship. You never know, he might just be ‘the one’.
Signs you’ll never be more than friends
A clear sign that will indicate you’ll never be more than friends, is if there’s no sexual chemistry between the two of you. This is what fuels a romantic relationship. Without a physical connection, it will be difficult to progress out of a platonic friendship. The chemistry between two people can develop over time.
So, it’s not to say you and your friend will never feel a romantic attraction for each other, it just may be more unlikely.
Other signs that will confirm you’ll only ever stay as friends include;
- You’re attracted to other people
- You don’t have the same values and beliefs
- There’s never really any alone time
A clear indicator is if you don’t miss them when they’re not around. If you can go days without seeing them, or even chatting, you’re probably better off staying friends.
I want to be more than friends but he doesn’t
If you want to be more than friends, and he doesn’t, you’ll need to accept the rejection and not push it. You won’t want to ruin the friendship. Although at the time things may feel a bit awkward, over time the tension should dissipate. If, however, you react negatively, you may damage the relationship.
Once you understand his feelings aren’t mutual, take some time away to focus on doing the things you enjoy the most.
It could be time for you to put yourself out into the dating world. This will also show him that you’re not hung up on him not wanting a relationship with you, and probably make him feel a bit more at ease.
No guy wants to deliberately hurt their friend’s feelings, so if he sees you’re thriving, it will alleviate some of the pressure.
What is it called when you’re not dating but more than friends?
This is known as a ‘situationship’. It possesses all the benefits of being in a relationship, without any commitment. This form of relationship can sometimes end up being detrimental to your well-being and should be avoided. (unless you’ve both agreed it’s what you want).
How do you know if sexual tension is one-sided?
If you’re the only one flirting, this may indicate that the sexual tension is one-sided. The act of flirting is what builds the sexual tension between two people. If it’s not reciprocated he/she might not feel the same.
If he wants to be more than friends with you, he will display subtle signs when you hang out together, either one-on-one or in a group.
Before you have a conversation with your friend, it’s important to know how you feel about him too. Can you picture yourself in a long-term relationship? If not, you don’t want to lead him on or date him out of pity.
If you want to be more than friends, and he doesn’t, understand that it’s not personal, and you can still have a solid friendship. You should, however, have some space away from him so you can focus on yourself, and perhaps get back in the dating world!
(Quiz Question; does knowing what irritates your friend improve your relationship?). Make use of the comments box below to send us your answer.