If your girlfriend keeps blaming you for everything, this could be a sign that she’s unhappy, either for personal reasons, or within the relationship.
Did you know, blame can be a projection of someones feelings? If your girlfriend has regret or remorse, she may project this onto you if she does not want to deal with her own emotions.
A person that constantly blames someone else may have a low emotional intelligence, which makes it difficult for them to look inward.
In this article, we well expand on all the reasons why your girlfriend keeps blaming you for everything, and what this can mean for your relationship. We will also touch base on how you can deal with this form of behaviour from your partner, and how it can have a negative impact on your partnership.
Why does my girlfriend blame me for everything?
Your girlfriend could blame you for everything because she’s self-obsessed. If she can never take responsibility for anything that goes wrong, and always thinks she’s right, she may be showing signs of narcissistic behaviour. Do you notice that you’re always the one apologising in your relationship?
Common personality traits in a person that is a narcissist include;
- A high sense of entitlement and self-importance
- Insecure and vulnerable
- Believes they are superior to other individuals
- Never wrong
- Requires constant validation
Please note, we are not stipulating that your girlfriend is a narcissist, this is just a possible reason why a person will keep blaming someone for everything.
Other reasons why your girlfriend keeps blaming you for everything include;
1. She’s gaslighting you
When someone gaslights you, they will try and manipulate the way you think, and make you question yourself.
They want to gain power over you. By blaming you for everything, it will cause you to experience self-doubt and confusion.
2. She’s projecting her feelings
If your girlfriend has done something she regrets or has feelings of remorse, she may project these emotions by blaming you for things.
Regret can manifest as blame. If she does not want to acknowledge her own wrong-doing, she will project onto you, and find something to blame you for.
Difficulty dealing with our emotions can be a cause for projection, as we look for ways to outwardly express them, as opposed to dealing with them inwardly.
3. Your girlfriend feels like she has too much responsibility
Responsibility in a relationship should be equally shared.
If your girlfriend feels like she has too much responsibility to handle, she may blame you when she makes a mistake, or when something goes wrong.
This is a common cause for a person to say the words; ‘You should have’, or ‘If you didn’t’.
4. She’s stressed
Stress can have a big impact on how an individual responds to situations. If your girlfriend has trouble dealing with stress, she may act out in the form of blaming you for everything.
5. She resents you
Have you recently argued with your girlfriend? Your girlfriend will keep blaming you for everything if she resents you for something you’ve said or done.
Whether you’ve addressed the matter or not, if it still bothers her, chances are she’s expressing her emotions in the form of blame.
What does it mean when your girlfriend blames you for everything?
If your girlfriend keeps blaming you for everything, this could mean that there is an underlying issue in your relationship that has not yet been spoken about. If you have been receiving constant blame from your girlfriend, this could be a potential sign of emotional abuse.
Continuous blame from your girlfriend, where she won’t take any accountability for her own words or actions is also a sign that her emotional intelligence skills may be lacking. An example of an EQ skill is self-awareness.
Self-awareness involves the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions. If a person is self-aware, they will know when they are in the wrong. However, if an individual lacks this trait, they will turn to blame others.
In a more serious situation, if your girlfriend keeps blaming you for everything, it may mean that her personality contains narcissistic traits.
If this is the case, you won’t just get blamed for everything in your relationship. She will show many other symptoms.
This can be a potential warning sign that your relationship may be on the rocks. Has the communication between you and your partner dissipated? Is there constant tension, or do you have frequent arguments?
You may need to take a look at your relationship as a whole. Some space away from your girlfriend can help you re-evaluate your partnership, and gain a better perspective of the dynamics between yourselves.
How do you deal with a partner that always blames you?
In order to deal with a partner that always blames you, you need to enforce your boundaries. When your girlfriend keeps blaming you for everything, do you become quiet, or do you become argumentative? Either way can trigger your girlfriend into thinking she’s right to blame you, and carry on.
Enforcing a boundary when this behaviour takes place can be in the form of simply walking away or verbally stating that you will not accept the communication.
You may decide you’re going to remove yourself from the situation, and distance yourself from her. Or, you can stand up for yourself by verbally telling your girlfriend you will not accept it.
Other ways in which you can deal with your girlfriend that keeps blaming you for everything are;
1. Speak to her
Communication is vital in the progress of a relationship, and to prevent any misunderstandings.
Your girlfriend may have a personal issue that is struggling with that she has not told you about. Sit her down and let her know how what she’s doing is making you feel.
Air your concerns and vice versa so you both can be more aware of each others feelings. This will allow you to move forward in the relationship, and work on things that may have gone astray.
2. Don’t take it personally
If you know you have not done anything wrong, do not take the blame personally. Once you know it’s not you who is the problem, your self-esteem will improve, and give you the confidence to stand up for yourself.
3. Re-evaluate your relationship
Constant blame from your significant other can be a sign of emotional abuse. They do not respect you, and do not have your best interests at heart.
It may be time for you to assess your relationship, and recognize that perhaps you and your girlfriend are no longer suited for each other.
It is normal for two people to grow a part, especially if one partner is being mistreated. If you’ve tried to speak to your girlfriend about the constant blame, and she does not try and understand where you’re coming from, or try to see your point of view, it could be time to separate on amicable terms.
What blame does to a relationship?
Constant blame from your girlfriend will cause you to have feelings of resentment towards her in the relationship. Once you continue to feel resentment for your partner, you will begin to fall out of love for that person. You will start to avoid your girlfriend, and make plans without her just so you can keep the distance between the two of you.
With resentment, comes emotions such as anger and remorse. These all have negative repercussions on a relationship. If your girlfriend keeps blaming your for everything, it will be highly toxic for you, and create tension when you’re around each other.
(Did you know; being in love gives you more courage. When a person in love, the part of your brain that activates fear (the amygdala) gets switched off.)
Blame will hurt your relationship, and ultimately, be the catalyst for it to come to an end. The mere act of blaming your partner for something will interfere with the emotional connection. Without this, a relationship can become stagnant, and cause partners to drift apart.
Why can’t my girlfriend take criticism?
If a person was severely criticized by their parents or care-takers as a young child, this can make them extremely hypersensitive to negative feedback as an adult. From this type of past trauma, an individual’s self-esteem or self-worth will be closely affected by what someone thinks of them.
Your girlfriend might see criticism as though she’s being unaccepted, or that she’s inferior to yourself. A person who is insecure in themselves will struggle to accept criticism as it can trigger emotions of unworthiness and failure.
Does your girlfriend become emotional, or react in a negative manner if you voice criticism towards her? Leon F Seltzer confirms that this type or response is a sign that a person still has emotional wounds from early childhood that is linked to being put down by our primary caregivers. Once this occurs, an individual will link their ego to criticism.
This can be closely linked to needing external validation from others in order to feel good about ourselves. Your girlfriend may struggle with personal security. If your girlfriend deflects all criticism directed at her onto you, this could be a signal that she might feel superior to you, and that she can never be in the wrong.
This could be an additional warning sign that she may have narcissistic tendencies. Does she always feel like she’s never in the wrong? If so, your girlfriend won’t be able to accept that she’s at fault.
FAQ
What causes fighting in relationships?
If you and your partner continuously fight about the same thing, this is a sign that you might be in an argument cycle, where you experience conflict due to a lack of positive communication. This could stem from a lack of respect for each other, or one/both partners do not put in the effort to try and understand one another.
How do you fix fighting in a relationship?
Constructive communication is extremely important if you want to eradicate unnecessary fighting in your relationship. Instead of getting angry, or defensive, take time to listen to what your partner says, and to respond. Sometimes, an individual in a relationship might feel like they’re always right. If this sounds familiar, either you or your partner will need to make a conscious effort to accept that it’s okay to be wrong.
Conclusion
If your girlfriend keeps blaming you for everything, you need address this with her, and let her know how it effects you.
Your girlfriend may have trouble dealing with her emotions, and project her feelings onto you. Constant blame is extremely unhealthy, and will have a negative impact on the progress of your relationship.
It’s important to recognise your girlfriend’s actions. If you have to deal with this throughout your partnership, it can be a sign of emotional abuse, and you should not disregard her behaviour.
If you feel like your girlfriend mistreats you, confide in your family or close friends to gain an outside perspective. You may need to re-evaluate your relationship, and remove yourself from a toxic environment.
(Quiz Question; what part of the brain deactivates when you’re in love?) Submit your answer with through the comments box below.