If your girlfriend doesn’t want you to touch her, she may have lost her emotional attraction for you.
Has your relationship deteriorated? Are you communicating frequently? If not, a lack of communication is known to cause a person to distance themselves from physical touch in a relationship.
Your girlfriend may not want you to touch her if she’s feeling stressed or anxious. When this occurs, a person will focus inward, rather than outwards, which is why you may be feeling like there’s a decrease in affection.
In this article, we will explain all the reasons why your girlfriend doesn’t want you to touch her, and what you can do in this situation. We will also delve into why touch is so important, so you can better understand the extremity of a lack of physical embrace in a relationship.
Why does my girlfriend not want to be touched?
If your girlfriend doesn’t want you to touch her, it could be because she no longer feels an emotional attraction toward you. Women find it more difficult to connect on a physical level if there are no feelings towards that person. Did your girlfriend want you to touch her before?
If this behaviour starts to occur gradually over time, it may be a warning sign that she’s no longer in love with you, and you should speak to your girlfriend about how this makes you feel.
When an individual ‘falls out of love’ with someone, there is no longer an emotional attraction for that person. There are a few different reasons that can cause this, which we will expand on further in the article.
How has your relationship between over the past while? One of the main causes for a person to withdraw from their partner is due to a lack of communication.
Are you and your girlfriend having frequent arguments without communicating properly? This can create a rift between the two of you. This will affect how your girlfriend feels on a physical level in the relationship.
However, if your relationship is going well, and you speak openly with each other, your girlfriend may not want you to touch her for these simple reasons;
1. She’s stressed
Stress is one of the main factors that can hurt a relationship. If your girlfriend does not speak about why she has stress with you, she may become distant.
If she does not deal with the cause of the stress, you will begin to feel stress too. Did you know, that stress is contagious in a relationship?
2. She’s dealing with trauma
If your girlfriend has a past trauma she’s dealing with, she may have been triggered which will result in her withdrawing from you.
A trigger could be anything from a certain sound, situation or smell that reminds a person of the traumatic event they went through.
This will create feelings of stress and anxiety. It brings on the ‘fight or flight’ mode even though you’re in a safe environment.
When this happens, an individual will focus inward more so than on the people around them.
3. She’s upset with you
If you’ve only just argued, chances are, your girlfriend won’t want you to touch her. A negative mood can impact how affectionate a person will want to be until you resolve the issue.
(Did you know; when you cuddle with someone, your body will produce the hormone. The brain will release it in the brain, ovaries and testicles.)
It’s better to give her space during this time. If you keep probing her, it will only make how she feels worse.
What is Haphephobia?
Haphephobia is an extreme, illogical fear of being touched, specifically by strangers. However, an individual who suffers with this type of anxiety disorder can also experience discomfort when family or friends touch them.
A person won’t have physical pain when someone touches them. Instead, a high level of stress will occur. This distress can come through as the following physical indicators;
- Sweating
- Fainting
- Feeling nauseous
- Escalated heart rate
Panic attacks are known to be the most common physical response when a person with Haphephobia gets touched.
If your girlfriend has Hephaphobia, this could be a result from a negative experience in early childhood, or, a history of anxiety in her family.
This disorder is a situational phobia dependent on a certain situation or interaction. The most common way to treat it, is through therapy. You can take anti-anxiety medication to help minimise panic attacks.
What do I do if my girlfriend doesn’t want me to touch her?
If your girlfriend doesn’t want you to touch her, do not force it. If this behaviour emerges because her feelings have changed towards you, you should speak to her about how the change in affection has made you feel. You need to address the issue behind why your girlfriend has pulled away from you.
This conversation should be based more on how it makes you feel, rather than you blaming her for being distant.
The best way to initiate this conversation is to first let her know that you’ve noticed a change in her behaviour towards you and that you’re open to understanding why she has withdrawn.
Communication is one of the main solutions to rectify any form of misunderstanding in a relationship. If you’ve noticed a change in the dynamic within your relationship, prepare yourself to hear something you may not like from your girlfriend.
If she states she no longer feels an emotional connection towards you, do not try and force her to change her mind, as this will only push her further away.
Your girlfriend may confirm there is nothing to worry about, and that she is only stressed, or dealing with a personal issue.
In this circumstance, let her know that you support her, and she can speak to you about it. Overcoming a stressful situation together can have a positive impact on your relationship, and bring you closer together.
What happens when your girlfriend is no longer in love with you?
When your girlfriend is no longer in love with you, she is not emotionally attracted to you. This means she does not have a connection for intimate behaviours with you. These include actions such as confiding. Of course, this can happen gradually over time, and won’t come out of nowhere.
An emotional attraction is based on a person’s personality and way of thinking. When you and your girlfriend first got together, she was attracted to your behaviour.
The reason why she may have ‘fallen out of love’ with you is that you’ve changed your behaviour, and over time, it has pushed her away.
Once this occurs, your girlfriend won’t want you to touch her.
If you feel like your girlfriend may no longer be in love with you, and you need some support, you can take a more in-depth look into this matter with this guide.
Can you be in a relationship without physical touch?
Emotional and physical touch in a relationship are equally as important. Both are required to form a strong connection between two individuals. Without one or the other, a relationship will be unable to flourish, and progress in the way that it should. If one of these aspects are missing, issues will start to arise.
If you have a relationship based only on physical touch, complications such as trust, frustration and confusion can occur. At some point, one of the partners will want more than just a physical connection.
It’s very difficult to uphold a physical relationship only without incurring emotional feelings towards that person.
You cannot maintain a relationship that is in the form of an emotional connection only. Humans require touch whether it’s in the form of a hug, handshake or kiss.
Physical touch is known to reduce stress levels, and calm down a persons blood pressure.
From the early ages, touch has been known to be the foundation in creating healthy relationships. It releases a chemical called serotonin which is a natural anti-depressant.
Have you ever heard of the phrase ‘touch-starved?
What is touch starved?
‘Touch starved’ is a condition in which a person does not get as much physical touch as what they used to.
Signs that may show you’re not getting enough physical touch include;
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Stress
- Trouble sleeping
Safe to say, it will be extremely difficult for a person to be in a relationship without physical touch. If you’re an affectionate person, you should have a boundary in which you date other individuals that match your need for touch.
How do you deal with someone who doesn’t want to be touched?
Once your girlfriend lets you know that she doesn’t want you to touch her, it’s important to not go against her wishes. This could make her feel uncomfortable, as well as depict that you do not respect her request.
If your girlfriend does not want you to touch her because she has an avoidant attachment style, this will be because she has adopted the ability to ‘self-soothe’ herself. When this occurs, give your partner her space. You can reiterate that you are there for support, and she can come to you when she’s ready.
It can be hurtful when your girlfriend doesn’t want you to touch her, however, it’s imperative that you understand this is not because of you. In most cases, it will be due to her own personal issues, or feelings that she needs to deal with.
FAQ
My girlfriend doesn’t want me to touch her phone
If your girlfriend doesn’t want you to touch her phone she might feel as though that is an invasion of her own privacy. Alternatively, it could be because she has items on her phone that she does not want you to see. She might feel as though you checking her phone is as though you’re trying to monitor her or control her.
What is the ick in a relationship?
The ick in a relationship is when one partner starts to feel disgust towards their significant other, after experiencing the initial attraction for them. A person will experience this physical reaction when their partner’s behaviour or personal characteristics causes them to feel disdain. For a more in depth look into what the ick is, we have this article.
Conclusion
Now that you know all the reasons behind why your girlfriend doesn’t want you to touch her, we hope you were able to decipher what may have caused her to withdraw from you.
Communication is vital in a relationship, without it, partners will distance themselves, and create a physical barrier between each other.
Make sure you speak to your girlfriend about how the sudden lack of affection affects you. It may just be because she has stress or anxiety over a personal issue.
(Quiz Question; what chemical does the body release when a person cuddles with another individual?). Let us know your answer through the comments section down below.